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Author Topic: Pyxis- YA Fantasy  (Read 2462 times)
lazyprotagonist
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« on: February 23, 2017, 12:10:12 PM »

There is nothing half so comforting when nightmares have roused one from pleasant slumber, than escaping to a fantasy world of one's choosing. Charlie Adams was a firm believer in the medicinal value of literary escapism. It was how she found herself sitting in the stairwell between the 12th and 13th floors of the Morning Bell Hotel just outside of St. Augustine, Florida.
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JEC112
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« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2017, 12:34:02 PM »

There is nothing half so comforting when nightmares have roused one from pleasant slumber, than escaping to a fantasy world of one's choosing. Charlie Adams was a firm believer in the medicinal value of literary escapism. It was how she found herself sitting in the stairwell between the 12th and 13th floors of the Morning Bell Hotel just outside of St. Augustine, Florida.

This first sentence doesn't read like YA at all. Honestly, I would nix it and start with the second. That's a great line imho. If you can reword the first sentence and combine it with the third sentence, I think you'll have a much stronger opening.
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samcantcook
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« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2017, 01:10:40 PM »

Yes to the advice offered by JEC112! Your second sentence works spectacularly as an opener. And the third has me wanting to read everything that follows. It almost reads like literary fantasy, which I'm a huge fan of, if you subscribe to the school of thought that fantasy can, in fact, be literary. Great job!
« Last Edit: February 23, 2017, 04:35:37 PM by samcantcook » Logged
lazyprotagonist
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« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2017, 01:21:14 PM »

Thank you both so much, I'll do that!
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IrishNikki33
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« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2017, 10:13:07 PM »

I agree that the first sentence isn't needed but the second sentence works well. Good luck!
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