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Author Topic: IMMNUITY Synopsis  (Read 1668 times)
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« on: February 28, 2017, 06:21:44 PM »

Okay so this is a mess I know...and it's too long. It's 1200 words  sad

But I have 6 POVs to cover and a lot of stuff that happens. I just don't know what to cover and what to leave out.

Seventeen-year-old SASAME works for a secret agency known as The Organization. Attempting to interact with kids her age at a festival, she finds herself wanting to hide than to actually have a conversation. It doesn't help that the Insiders—The Organization's spies—are watching her every move. She bumps into a boy named KONAN and his friends NEVIN and FANG. Sasame quickly recognizes that Fang is an Okamikiin, a wolf-hybrid wearing a large collar to suppress his incredible powers. Konan tries to strike up a conversation, but Sasame walks away. She can't risk an Insider seeing her talking to a boy. The Organization has strict rules against personal relationships.

Sasame ends up on the other side of the large wall protecting the city where she is attacked by a Konadai—a fresh-hungry mutated creature. Sasame has no other choice but to fight the Konadai. Using her sword, she kills the Konadai, but not before it nearly kills her. Through her determination to not die outside of the wall, Sasame makes her way to her agency's headquarters and collapse on the steps from her wounds.

Moments pass, Sasame wakes up in a hospital bed with her wounds bandaged. OMI, The Organization's lead, questions her about her trip to the festival and the boys she met. Sasame quickly answers that they aren't important. Omi laughs exiting the room, but gives a warning: Romance kills.

Sasame's new assignment is to attend the academy where she was first trained pretending to be a new student. Her mission is to hunt down the students on her list that carries immunity against the mutation virus. On the first day, she notices that Konan, Fang, and Nevin are attending as well.

Waiting for class to start, Sasame is approached by The Skater Boys; DAVID, ZACH, and AKAIRO. The three boys are in The Organization as well yet they only prey on teenage girls.

Konan sneaks up on Sasame while she's standing at her locker. She attacks, not knowing who he is at first. Despite this, Konan still tries to talk to her, but Sasame does her best to keep him at arm's length.

During lunch, Sasame watches a young psychic named CARRIE. Carrie has a vision about one of her friends dying but cannot picture who it actually is. Sasame listens to every word in shock. She knows Carrie will soon be her next target. Her psychic abilities are more important to The Organization than her blood.

After school, Sasame joins a group of girls, ASHLEY, RIN, MARIA, and LIN MING to go outside the wall to fight Konadai. They run into another group who was just attacked. Together, they fight off a horde using their magical abilities.

Nevin and Fang sit in class learning how they inherited their magic from their families. Ashley and Rin sit behind them. Nevin is Ashley's boyfriend, while Fang has eyes for Rin, but she is torn between him and another boy.

Nevin and Fang are inducted into the Eradication Squad—the city's military—by their friend DANTE. They are put on border control which bores Fang. He would rather be fighting Konadai.

While sitting at the gate, Rin and her team meet up with the boys. The other girls go their separate ways but Rin stays and asks Fang out, much to his delight. A Konadai climbs over the large wall and attacks Rin. Fang rushes her to the hospital but is intercepted by Ashley who takes her into the Sonnie compound. Fang tries to get inside to check on Rin, but he's attacked by the guards and knocked out. He wakes up in a hospital to learn that Rin is going to be okay.

Ashley is sent out on a mission to rescue STACY, who was in Carrie's vision. Unable to contact her team, Ashley ventures outside the wall alone determined to find Stacy and bring her back alive. She ends up being injured by Konadai and is saved by another member of the Eradication Squad. She thinks that she was set up but can't prove it. Little does she know, Stacy is actual the one that was set up and is now on her way to The Organization Headquarters.

Omi offers Sasame the chance to see the extraction process for the antidote. When she arrives, she sees Stacy tied down to a metal table. Her blood is being drained from her body.

Konan sends Sasame a message to meet up for a date. She likes him but doesn't want to show it. She believes seeing Konan will help her feel normal and blend in better. He buys her a locket which she thinks is way too much for a first date but appreciates the gift.

Carrie dreams of Stacy's death. She wakes up to find The Skater Boys invading her home. They inject her with a serum that forces her to produce premonitions constantly, prepping her to be used by The Organization.

The annual Konadai sweep begins and Fang, Nevin and Dante are caught right in the middle. While escaping a horde, Fang and Nevin find themselves in an old hospital along with The Skater Boys and a girl named HIKARI. They split into teams to find another way out.

As they try to find a way to the other tower, Hikari is killed in an attack. Fang is too late to save her. Zach falls through a hole and is split from the group.

Now Ashley and Rin are stuck in the same hospital not knowing that their love interests are there. After a few moments, the girls meet up with Nevin and Fang. Fang mentions that he owes it to David and Akairo to help them find Zach. Reluctantly, Ashley and Rin agree to help and they split up: Ashley with Nevin and Rin with Fang.

Cornered by Konadai, Fang tells Rin to run as he stays to fight off the horde. Rin refuses to leave him alone but Fang assures her that he's immune. He takes them down but he is badly injured in the process. He lied about being immune. Rin stays by his side unable to stop the bleeding. His wounds are turning black and Fang only has minutes to live.

Sasame continues her mission, taking down two boys. The following day she goes after a girl at a shooting range, but is seen by a man that works there. When the extraction team shows up, they kill him and fake his death. All the death is starting to weigh on Sasame, especially when Konan treats her as someone more than just a hunter.

The day finally comes when Sasame has to capture Carrie. She finds her at the academy and takes her down quickly. It hurts knowing that Carrie will be used for her powers and will suffer more than just getting her blood drained, but Sasame can't go against her orders.

After school, Konan asks Sasame out for pizza even though she's been avoiding him for weeks. She needs the distraction and agrees to go with him. They have a nice date that helps her to forget most of her troubles. Then Konan asks her over to his house. When they arrive, he surprises her with a kiss. She bites his lip, fighting against her desires and leaves. That's when she gets a call to meet Omi, and she knows that he knows about Konan.

Omi tells her that he isn't happy about it, but she is one of his top hunters so he threatens her: enjoy the romance while she can can. Sasame leaves, knowing she is no longer the cold-blooded killer she once was, she has changed for the better.
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2017, 07:07:42 PM »

Hi, I don't have time to read your synopsis tonight, but I noticed your concern about it being too long.

I'm pasting in a post I did about a resource that helped my cut my synopsis in half:

These synopses are all describing the plots of films, but they are still helpful. (One example has lots of viewpoints, as yours does.)


After reading these examples, which cover various genres, I cut my synopses in half (was up to 1000 words).

What was most helpful for me was seeing where details could be cut, keeping in mind that the point of a synopsis is to show that you've written a story that holds together, with some logical development, and has an ending that makes sense. It also includes the arc of the main character.

While some agents may want a longer synopsis, these keep to 500 words (one single-spaced typed page).

It really helps to read over them all. Reading them aloud is even better. I helped me get a feel for keeping to the bare bones. In some cases, I pasted the synopsis into my text-to-speech reader and just listened.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 07:09:33 PM by Munley » Logged
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« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2017, 01:36:58 PM »

Thanks for the link...I read a few of them although I'm still confused
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