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Author Topic: KONADAI - YA Fantasy with SciFi Elements  (Read 1324 times)
horrorchix89
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« on: January 23, 2018, 01:26:35 AM »

Tried to write a two-page synopsis following advice on publishing crawl but I might have messed up. It's duel POV following two different teens who has a mutual friend and mutual goals.

On an island serving as one of the only remaining civilizations on Earth, a man-made virus ravages a city turning those infected into hideous creatures known as the Konadai. After sixty years, no cure has been found.

Seventeen-year-old HIROMI KATO, a virology intern, discovers that the latest batch of beta vaccines failed. Frustrated, her mentor suggests they need to find more Konadai samples. Hiromi agrees but knows the head of the research facility won’t authorize them to use any more of the reserved samples due to the mentor wasting the last few.

Hiromi reaches out to her friend KENJI HIGA, a private in the city’s military, hoping that he can help gather more infected tissue samples. He reminds her that he is on gate patrol, guarding the large wall that protects the living from the Konadai. But he agrees to help if he has the chance.

Kenji’s squad is ordered to go on a training mission to test new headsets that read heat signatures. Hiromi and her mentor are invited to come with them in hopes of gathering samples. While outside the wall, the group encounters three Konadai. A male squad member attacks two Konadai using his fire magic, but the third attacks Kenji—wrapping its tentacle-like tongue around his arm. Hiromi, being an excellent gunman, shoots the Konadai, saving Kenji. Though he is safe, his sergeant cuts the training mission short. Before heading back to the wall, Hiromi and her mentor dissect the three Konadai.

Hiromi and her mentor are praised for retrieving new tissue samples. However, the beta vaccine continues to fail. Hiromi studies old files from the first outbreak sixty years ago in hopes of finding some missing element. Her search ends quickly after realizing scientists have tried everything to cure the virus to no avail.

Kenji’s squad receive new orders to team up with another squad and clear out a horde of Konadai in the hills. Hiromi comes along to collect infection samples. After the horde is defeated, Hiromi and Kenji discover their friend, TIDUS VOSS, is bitten yet doesn’t show signs of infection. The three of them try to decide what to do, ultimately agreeing to keep things quiet for the moment.

A week later, Hiromi approaches Kenji and Tidus at the park. She demands that Kenji make a decision. He yells at her and she storms off. After getting advice from a close friend, Hiromi learns that her actions weren’t the best and decides to not report Tidus’ immunity. After a few days, a convoy appears at Kenji’s post to collect Tidus. Furious, Kenji blames Hiromi. The two have a heated argument which drives Hiromi deeper into her research.

The lead researcher gives credit to Hiromi for discovering the first immune citizen. He offers Hiromi and her mentor a spot on the main research team. Ecstatic, Hiromi accepts her new position, claiming that she can make it to Tidus later.

Hiromi goes down into the basement laboratories to check on Tidus. She discovers that he is being kept in a room strapped to a bed with tubes attached to his arms. Guilt overcomes her, and she can’t bear the thought of seeing him suffer. She questions if it’s all worth it. That same day, she gets a message from her mentor stating that the vaccine created from Tidus’ DNA is slowing the infection process. Hiromi isn’t sure if she should be happy or upset knowing that Tidus will suffer more.

After the wall is breached by a horde of Konadai, the lieutenant is bitten but his life is saved thanks to the new beta vaccine created from Tidus’ DNA. Word gets out of the miracle cure, causing citizens to demand more. Hiromi learns the researchers plan to bring in Tidus’ young siblings for testing. Kenji finds out about this and goes to the media. A news broadcast is released stating that the hospital is planning to use children for research. This causes a massive riot in the front parking lot of the hospital.

Due to an allergic reaction, one of Tidus’ brothers die. Devastated, Hiromi calls Kenji. She says they need to get Tidus and the other two children out of the lab. It doesn’t take long for the military to learn that Kenji was the one who leaked the information. He is arrested at the hospital after he saves Hiromi from a strange Konadai outbreak. It’s soon learned that no one was guarding the wall due to the riot which led to Konadai entering the city. After freeing Kenji from the two soldiers that capture him, Hiromi leads him down into the basement to rescue the children.

Once they have the little brother and sister, Kenji goes after Tidus while Hiromi heads for the elevator with the kids. Kenji is confronted by the lead researcher. He’s prepared to fight for his friend’s life, but Tidus stops him. He offers to stay in exchange for his siblings’ lives. The lead researcher agrees, knowing that he already has what he needs inside of Tidus. After saying his goodbyes, Kenji goes to find Hiromi.

Hiromi is pinned down by two soldiers while another attempt to kill her. Kenji tackles the female soldier, saving Hiromi. While he fights with her, the two other men go after him. Hiromi shoots them but doesn’t kill them. The two head for the elevators with the two children and escape through the main doors.

With the children safe and the Konadai outbreak neutralized, Hiromi and Kenji are brought in to a meeting with the city officials. Kenji is stripped of his rank and ordered to work cleanup duty while the new research faulty is built. Hiromi loses her internship. She’s angry with Kenji for dragging her into a rescue mission but understands that she did have a choice.

Citizens from all over the island come to hear the grand announcement of the new research building and new steps to curing the virus. Each citizen is ordered to be tested for immunity. Kenji is furious, but Hiromi tells him it’s not as bad as he thinks. The data could help scientist understand how the virus works.

Though Kenji is still upset that he couldn’t save his friend, he’s happy that he managed to save his two siblings. With Hiromi at his side, he heads to their special spot in the park, hoping that the worse is behind them.
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keitwill
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« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2018, 07:57:41 PM »

So your Synopsis looks great to me, you seem to have followed all of the key things. You follow the plot of the story throughout, and you have character arc. The story is really interesting as well. If i had to edit anything i would just say make sure you leave no cliff hangers in the synopsis for the main plot. If there is something else that happens to Tidus after he decides to stay, then maybe you should add that.

-Check my Query letter or Synopsis out if you get the chance, keitwill.
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