Author Topic: Preparing for PBPitch  (Read 4594 times)

Offline jpm327

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Preparing for PBPitch
« on: June 20, 2018, 03:19:25 PM »
My first time doing something like this - so...here's my pitch below:

Tired mother of 2 young kids comes home from work and invents a fun game to get some rest. She becomes “BABY MOMMY” and turns the tables on her kids! Then, they take care of her for a little while. The kids delight as they feed her, read stories and clean up!

Offline 007 fan

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Re: Preparing for PBPitch
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2018, 05:58:30 PM »
My first time doing something like this - so...here's my pitch below:

Tired mother of 2 young kids comes home from work and invents a fun game to get some rest. She becomes “BABY MOMMY” and turns the tables on her kids! Then, they take care of her for a little while. The kids delight as they feed her, read stories(,) and clean up!

This is so cute that I smiled when reading it!  :)

*Not sure about exclamation points in a pitch.

**I might have been a little heavy-handed on my suggested cuts, so let's see what others might say. Good luck with this!  :)
:write:                                                                          :cbash:

Offline jpm327

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Re: Preparing for PBPitch
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2018, 02:56:03 AM »
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your edits, I’m so excited to pitch this book  :clap:

Offline NextChapter

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Re: Preparing for PBPitch
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2018, 06:51:05 AM »
My first time doing something like this - so...here's my pitch below:

Tired mother of 2two young kids comes home from work and invents a fun game to get some rest. She becomes BABY MOMMY and turns the tables on her kids!. Then, they take care of her for a little while. The kids delight as they feed her, read stories, and clean up!.

Most of this is just what 007 said. I would also spell out the number two, and not use quotes around what I assume is the name of the book. Your cute concept is sure to appeal to the little ones. Good luck!

Offline jpm327

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Re: Preparing for PBPitch
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2018, 08:07:49 AM »
Thank you! Going to send out the morning pitch and then it says you can pitch again after 2 p.m. Thank you for all the advice! xo

Offline jpm327

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Re: Preparing for PBPitch
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2018, 09:05:55 AM »
@007 so far nothing yet boooooo

But your comment made me so happy, just wanted to tell you that :) So thanks again!

Offline 24_Stars

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Re: Preparing for PBPitch
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2018, 04:53:24 PM »
I'd keep the first sentence and shorten the rest somehow.