Looking for hard edit/critique

[quent_aron]

I'm looking to finalize the draft of my book and struggle with active/passive voice. I'm looking for someone who is willing to take a look at it, preferably with a good English background, possibly education or editing work. This has been through editing by myself and one other pass. I believe I am at a point where I need to spit-shine and hammer out the last of the problems.

Summary:

Daniel “Cruiser” Stone is a medic for an elite paramilitary unit. He hates people. Samantha Frost is the personal assistant for a nutty weapons tycoon. She loves everyone. She's also on the shortlist of suspects who are selling classified weapons designs. When Cruiser finds himself in the middle of an unexpected gun battle, he has two options: save the girl and ditch the mission or keep the latest weapons schematics out of the hands of terrorists.

A rousing game of cat and mouse is on! Corrupt private security, local law enforcement, and state troopers force Cruiser's team, with Samantha in tow, to retreat into the backwoods of West Virginia. It's a race against time. Will the weapons designs fall into the wrong hands? Or will Cruiser and his team manage to evade capture, save the girl and pull off one of the greatest escapes east of the Mississippi?

TROUBLED WATERS is a 73,000 word adult action-adventure novel with romance elements that demonstrates how broken characters can still be heroes. Its protagonists are complex, capable, damaged people forced to face not only danger, but themselves. While it is set as a standalone read, the story arc has a novel-length sequel that explains how the nefarious events of Troubled Waters are originally set in motion.

Thank you,
Quent

[KissofTreachery]

Hello,
If you are still looking for a critique partner, I would be open to swapping stories.
I have an MFA in Journalism, experience as writing tutor, and an 88,000-word completed literary thriller.
I'm happy to read through, give honest feedback, and point out grammatical errors. I will not be a substitute for a freelance editor.
My manuscript, I believe, is in pretty good shape. I have edited it myself too many times to count, I have had it critiqued, and I have had an editor-friend look it over. I have queried it and have had some interest that all ended in rejection. Before I throw myself back into the query trenches, I thought another set of eyes might be helpful.
If you are interested, feel free to message me and let me know what kind of timeline you would like to work with and what sort of critique you are willing to offer. My working query is below, for your reference.

Best,
Kristin.

Osprey charges eight thousand dollars to kill someone. For five thousand from his new client, Deacon, he’ll break into a congressman’s home in Washington, D.C. and steal a 300-year-old book. But when a skinny brunette sticks a gun to his chin during his getaway and pinches the rare book, Osprey learns that Deacon is the most horrific type of criminal.
 
The skinny brunette, Vi, cannot forget her tragic past. Or forgive it. Her only family member, an older brother who’s a computer hacker, discovered Osprey’s new client is a sex trafficker that Vi had escaped from ten years ago. Vi still has post-traumatic stress flashbacks, but the now twenty-two-year-old English major copes with her panic attacks by imagining Shakespearean revenge being inflicted on Deacon. And especially his boss, Ubel.

Convinced that living out her revenge fantasy will give her closure, Vi sweet-talks Osprey into swapping the book for Deacon’s whereabouts. That’s surprisingly easy, but Osprey’s compassion and kindheartedness surprise her even more. Vi, nonetheless, is determined to get by with mediocre marksmanship and inspiration from the revenge literature she studies. She ditches Osprey and hunts down Deacon, but questions if she can live with herself after exacting vengeance. While her depression deepens, Ubel kidnaps her brother to get Vi back under his thumb. Vi hopes to rescue her brother. She hopes to kiss and make up with Osprey. But first, she must fight Ubel for her life, her mental health, and a non-tragic end to her revenge.