Author Topic: Not Really a Synopsis but looking for feedback on a blurb - Paranormal Romance  (Read 265 times)

Offline Victoria Jayne

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Hello Everyone,

I was hoping to get some feedback on my blurb. It's the sequel to my debut novel and any feedback/suggestions would be greatly appreciated:

It was just one magical mistake, and it carried unforeseen consequences.

With Divina missing after Aric claimed her, his wolf is insane. Doing his best to stave off madness, Aric looks to his pack for help in finding her. Meanwhile, Rori decides to ignore the prophecy and pursue his love: Divina. If only he could find her, and convince her it’s different this time.

Divina just wants space, away from Rori, Aric, and the prophecy. Looking to focus on herself and practicing her spells, Divina does the unthinkable and the ramifications are dire.
With no other options, Divina goes to Aric and Rori for help. Together, they have to clean up the mess to protect her.

All the while, the prophecy persists.

The vampire whose heart beats for a witch, who belongs to a wolf, shall save us all. He shall take his throne and rule over all kinds. If not, the vampire who belongs to the witch will end all kinds.

They may not be saviors, but all they can do is hope that they won’t be the end of all supernatural kind.

Offline dancingdove311

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Here are my thoughts, hope this helps!

It was just one magical mistake, and it carried unforeseen consequences What kind of consequences? This feel too vague to me right now.

With Divina missing after Aric claimed her, his wolf is insane Is this wolf inside him/part of him or a separate animal? This is unclear. Doing his best to stave off madness, Aric looks to his pack for help in finding her. Meanwhile, Rori decides to ignore the prophecy and pursue his love: Divina. If only he could find her, and convince her it’s different this time.

Divina just wants space, away from Rori, Aric, and the prophecy. Looking to focus on herself and practicing her spells, Divina does the unthinkable and the ramifications are dire Too vague again. It doesn't really ramp up the tension for me because I can't tell what the stakes are.
With no other options, Divina goes to Aric and Rori for help. Together, they have to clean up the mess to protect her.

All the while, the prophecy persists.

The vampire whose heart beats for a witch, who belongs to a wolf, shall save us all. He shall take his throne and rule over all kinds. If not, the vampire who belongs to the witch will end all kinds. Maybe start with this? It's confusing when you reference the prophecy but we don't know what it says

They may not be saviors, but all they can do is hope that they won’t be the end of all supernatural kind.