Author Topic: Synopsis- The Pacifists  (Read 100 times)

Offline litokarl

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Synopsis- The Pacifists
« on: May 19, 2019, 11:28:54 AM »
Confession time:  I put a lot of time and effort into my query letter, but after reading countless forums about how bleak the querying process is, I figured I'll get 100 form rejections, throw my story on Wattpad or whatever, and move on with my life, so I haven't worked as hard as I should have on my synopsis.  I've actually gotten two partial requests now, which I know doesn't even mean that much, but one of them asked for the synopsis.  I figure I should at least have y'all tell me how terrible it is before I send it out.  I mean, I know it's terrible, but I'd love to get some insight on which parts are particularly terrible, and even better would be some ideas on how to make it better, lol.  Thanks in advance:

THE PACIFISTS, satirical space opera, 87,000 words.


FREEDA is a pilot in the Kadrafian Combat Force (KCF).  Her one desire is to shoot down the Navy's top ace.  She faces him in a dogfight and chases his damaged fighter into the atmosphere of a nearby planet, where they collide.

A complicated set of circumstances resulted in COPERNICUS flying in the Galactic Naval Corporation (GNC).  The only Lumano in the Navy, Copernicus' species does not kill.  Instead, he disable his enemy's engines.  Suffering from PTSD, and in denial about his alcoholism, Copernicus fakes his own death in a dogfight, but when Freeda blindsides him in the clouds, they both crash in the jungle.

After Copernicus saves Freeda from the crash, her honor forbids her from killing him, and she is forced to cooperate to survive.  They make their way to Copernicus' planet, where his twin brothers invented a non-lethal weapons system.  The twins give Freeda a fighting staff that shoots high-pressure water, delivered via wormhole from the ocean of planet Hedon.

Copernicus convinces Freeda to form the Pacifists, a militant anti-war group.  They try to recruit pilots, but only find two: an orbital racing champ, and GAM3R, a perpetual teenager.  They build an asteroid base and begin their campaign.

After the Pacifists disrupt several battles between the KCF and GNC, commandos raid the asteroid and abduct Copernicus, leaving the base falling into a gas giant.  With their navigational computer down, the twins hardwire Freeda's staff to the hyperdrive and make a jump to the bottom of the Hedon ocean.

When they reach the surface, the Pacifists discover there is a Purist army ready to destroy the GNC and KCF.

Freeda figures out her commanding officer led the commando group.  She travels with Gam3r to confront him.  The general has a fighting staff similar to Freeda's, but its wormhole connects to a star and fires plasma.  Gam3r is mortally wounded, but when both fighting staffs end up on the ground, the dying Gam3r mistakenly picks up the wrong staff and cuts down the general with plasma.

Freeda tries to convince her army to aid the GNC, but when she is unsuccessful, she travels to the battle alone.

Meanwhile, the Pacifists are arrested.  They learn the Purist army is using the battle with the GNC as cover to wipe out Freeda's home planet, and it's too late to warn her.  With the help of Copernicus' old squadmate, they escape and use a stolen Navy ship to launch an attack on the Purist Citadel.

The twins trick the Citadel into firing on the wrong target, an ancient wormhole station that implodes into a black hole, taking the Citadel, and presumably Copernicus, with it.

Meanwhile, the GNC is overrun by the Purist army, but at the last second the KCF arrives and pushes the Purists back.  The KCF demands the surrender of the GNC, but then learns of the Navy ship that protected the Kadrafian planet.  The Navy has no knowledge of this, but a cease-fire is established anyway.

In the epilogue, it is hinted the the twins rescued Copernicus from the Citadel just before it went into the black hole.