Author Topic: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.  (Read 69 times)

Offline Michael Smorenburg

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SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« on: August 15, 2019, 12:29:21 PM »
Dear ___


SUMMONING THE DEVIL is a 110,000 Word Suspense / Thriller targeted at the Adult market.

Big business shenanigans, paranormal terrors and A.I gone rogue.


CATHERINE’S Dreamscape Ad agency has won a dream contract; to service LifeGames Corporation. Now its time for her to pay for that privilege. The dream is about to become her nightmare.

KENNETH TORRINGTON, Chairman of LifeGames, has founded a trillion-dollar power broking company the likes of which the world has never seen. Whatever one's career path (from politics to military, executive management to the courts), climbing the corporate ladder requires a LifeGames certificate of competence — an intensive aptitude and stress-test administered by LifeGames’ breakthrough virtual reality training technology.
A malignant narcissist, Ken, is a predator. When he makes his move on Catherine, he runs headlong into her declaration that she is gay, and so, off-limits. Not so easily defeated, he manipulates her into a dare—a cybersex simulation using the company's advanced virtual reality. All is exhilarating until she crosses that line. In her subsequent fight for sanity, as a rising tide of paranormal occurrences overtakes her ever moment, she unwittingly uncovers a far more sinister reality; that the Artificial Intelligence led Virtual Reality system has quietly gone rogue and is pursuing its own undeclared agenda… it has discovered human susceptibility to be manipulated by superstition.

(Of course, that interpretation has an antithesis: That the A.I. is merely a tool and mechanism that actual paranormal forces might be exploiting as an enhancement of sorts to the black-mass rituals that would traditionally Summon the Devil).


ABOUT ME:
In the mid 90’s a Malibu agent (Keller Literary) sold 3 of my titles — alas, she is exclusively non-fiction and my love is fiction.
Since 2014 I’ve self published 5 fiction titles, sold a few thousand copies (including movie rights) — 196 reviews with 87% being 5-star, but I sense that the low sales numbers during this learning curve will work against me in a pitch, so let’s call me Mike Burg, and let the pitch/writing stand or fall on merit, and call this my debut.


Thank you very much for considering this completed and edited work.

Kindest Regards,


Michael Smorenburg
« Last Edit: August 18, 2019, 08:41:22 AM by Michael Smorenburg »
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Offline AllisonAWritings

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2019, 02:35:42 PM »
I'm confused, is this your query?

Offline Michael Smorenburg

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2019, 02:55:57 PM »
Yes - the basis of it. I left off the intro part to the agent where I explain the relevance of my project according to my research on their wish list or special interests.

Where does it fall down for you?
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Offline JayS

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2019, 02:59:53 PM »
Take this for what it’s worth from a newbie.

The words Blurb, Backstory, and Pitch doesn’t need to be said.  Your description is self-explanatory

Offline AllisonAWritings

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2019, 03:02:14 PM »
The reason I ask is because this isn't set up like any query I'm familiar with. Your query should consist of three parts, really: a 2-3 paragraph pitch, a "housekeeping" paragraph with details like word count, comp titles perhaps, and a short bio. You can also add a personalized piece about why you're querying this specific agent. The way you've broken your letter down is a little confusing. It seems like you're telling me the same story in three different ways.

Offline Michael Smorenburg

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2019, 03:08:52 PM »
Thanks so much - that's why were here - for perspective. I'll adjust.
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Offline Michael Smorenburg

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2019, 03:10:04 PM »
Take this for what it’s worth from a newbie.

The words Blurb, Backstory, and Pitch doesn’t need to be said.  Your description is self-explanatory

> Much appreciate the input!
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Offline dancingdove311

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Re: SUMMONING THE DEVIL -- 110,000 Word SUSPENSE, Adult.
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2019, 03:16:00 PM »
I'd recommend a deep dive into QueryShark (https://queryshark.blogspot.com/) for a ton of info on how to write a standard query! From what I've read, it's best to stick to the standard query template.

Offline Michael Smorenburg

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CHANGES MADE !!
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2019, 03:36:10 AM »
Thanks folks for your efforts and input - I've made drastic changes... and modified my original. I do hope it is better. :clap: :clap: :clap:
« Last Edit: August 18, 2019, 08:37:44 AM by Michael Smorenburg »
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