Author Topic: Adult Upmarket Epic SFF  (Read 232 times)

Offline MSS

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Adult Upmarket Epic SFF
« on: September 15, 2019, 02:40:36 AM »

'Mind focused, inner vision on DNA, install the pain, codes changed, BLAST–Evolution. Ageless Grade-A humans ruling after Apocalypse, now looking for the God's power. KUSHA, an Ungraded programmer looking for her past, caught in between the rivalry of two legendary Grade-A war-heroes, who were friends for 7 decades, now declared war against each other obsessing over THE SOURCE while abusing Kusha's spiritual power.'

Thanks in advance..  ;D ;D

Offline Munley

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Re: Adult Upmarket Epic SFF
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2019, 05:07:46 AM »
Hi,
I think the pitch needs to focus on one of these many ingredients of the novel and give some sense of what direction the main character is headed.

As written now, this is a list of various things going on in the novel in descriptions too cryptic to grasp (for me to grasp, at least).

My experience of reading this is having my head turned abruptly in all sorts of directions.

Offline jcwrites

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Re: Adult Upmarket Epic SFF
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2019, 08:00:08 AM »
While I'm sure that opening list is meaningful to someone who has read your story, to me it's just a string of obscure fragments. I would ditch it and use the space to accomplish what Munley said.