Author Topic: The Path and the Way SFF  (Read 664 times)

Offline MikeJackson

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The Path and the Way SFF
« on: September 29, 2019, 08:26:14 AM »
Would love to hear opinions on my pitch below. Thanks in advance.

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A son lost to the Kin.
A spy hunted by a deadly assassin.
A rebel army led by a mysterious foreign Captain.
And a Pathwatcher intent on reuniting her family at all costs.

All connected by one man from another world.

Your world.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2019, 08:34:41 AM by MikeJackson »

Offline mimimi

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Re: The Path and the Way SFF
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2019, 12:53:38 PM »
I really like the twist at the end!

I think it might be good if you found a way to be a bit more clear about who your characters are. 'Kin', 'Captain' and 'Pathwatcher' don't necessarily mean too much to readers and it could be easy for them to become uninterested before your twist. Is there a way to be more descriptive while still keeping concise? It could just be a matter of removing the capitalisation because it's a little confusing what it means.