Author Topic: FINAL PITCH OF 2019! speculative WF  (Read 246 times)

Offline greensoul

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FINAL PITCH OF 2019! speculative WF
« on: December 31, 2019, 09:23:30 AM »
Munley helped me get to these. What do yall think?

A young woman’s fascinating coming-of-age adventures, fueled by her ancient tree’s ability to meddle in all creatures’ genetics, could be derailed when her best friend wants the tree to alter the DNA of her unborn child.

It's the coming-of-age story of an odd trio: a quasi-super teen, her ancient tree that’s capable of meddling in all creatures’ genetics, and her bohemian best friend.


Does referring to the MC as a teen automatically make the novel a YA fiction?

Offline Munley

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Re: FINAL PITCH OF 2019! speculative WF
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2020, 03:49:54 AM »
Do you intend for this to be adult fiction, rather than YA?

I think both pitches are interesting in their own way. The second one does sound more like it is probably a YA book.

Offline tb.tallbird

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Re: FINAL PITCH OF 2019! speculative WF
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2020, 05:28:17 PM »
I really like the first one.

It makes me wonder why the best friend wants the tree to change the genetics of her unborn child. It sparks an interest. :clap:
Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some happy, some exciting. But if you never turn the page... you will never know what the next chapter holds.

Offline Munley

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Re: FINAL PITCH OF 2019! speculative WF
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2020, 11:47:02 PM »
I also prefer the first one for the same reasons.

A young woman’s fascinating coming-of-age adventures, fueled by her ancient tree’s ability to meddle in all creatures’ genetics, could be derailed when her best friend wants the tree to alter the DNA of her unborn child.

Some comments on word choices:

Fascinating. I think you mean that the adventures are fascinating to the character, but on my first read, I took it to mean praise/evaluation of the book, which is generally best left to the reader. Yet, it would be good to show an attitude of innocent fun about to go awry in a big way. Maybe just dropping "fascinating" would still keep that implication.

Bohemian friend (from the second pitch) adds interest and implies that your main character is in for some pressure from someone set on having her own adventures in her own way. You might want to add "bohemian" to the first pitch.

Derail connotes a particular plan, just like railroad tracks lead to a particular destination. Does the character have a particular outcome in mind? Referring to the earlier thread, I remember wondering if the character was an aspiring biologist or some other profession that would explain her involvement with this tree.
     If the tree's abilities are a sort of "innocent" play toy she just happened upon, that is different from having a plan or goal than can get derailed.
     That old (1960's) film I Saw What You Did is a good example of innocent fun going awry-- if that's what you mean to convey. If you haven't seen it, it was about a teenage girl and a friend old enough to be left alone for a weekend while the parents go off somewhere. The house is out in the sticks and has some outbuildings that someone could potentially lurk in. No such thing as a cell phone in those days.
     To amuse themselves, the girls dial random numbers from the phone book and say, "I saw what you did, and I know who you are." The recipients pretty much recognize that silly teenage prank for what it is. But one man who gets the call has just finished murdering his wife. He's not about to hang up without conning the girls into letting them know where they are.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 11:55:10 PM by Munley »

Offline greensoul

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Re: FINAL PITCH OF 2019! speculative WF
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2020, 09:21:54 AM »
Thanks,tb.tallbird and Munley!
Word choice in a pitch is super important, so I'm going to revisit that to make sure my keywords are the best fit. A little background on the tree; he's been in the mc's family for over a century and to the mc, he's like a beloved relative--that favorite brilliant granduncle--and under his guidance, they create these beautiful gardens and he's the mc's confidant. But his eerie side is that during the time of the mc's ancestors, he discovered the fossils of a creature that was part human and part plant. When opportunities present themselves, he tries to perfect the creation of one through altering the genetics of animals and humans unbeknownst to his experimentees. The MC knows about this and tells her best friend, who after being raped, wants the tree to alter the DNA of her unborn child, not knowing what the baby will turn out to be as a result of the alteration.

Munley, I think I saw that movie a long time ago!
« Last Edit: January 16, 2020, 06:58:46 PM by greensoul »