Represent MEEEEEEEEE

[Dribbydrawers]

Dear Mx Agent,

Since my book has been rejected by everyone else, you need to accept my query. If you don’t, you’ll be missing the chance to earn a little money on my 450 pages of experiences. I want you to know that I write about myself alot because these things happened to me. That’s the purpose of a f**king memoir, though I don’t have any f**king in it, obviously because I don’t want to violate content standards for your publishing house, which also published some great books that you might be familiar with since you represented those authors and I really, really like those books, please represent me. I am a god writer, even my Grandma says so. Represent me or you’ll be sorry like everyone else.


Love and Other Indoor Sports ,
Me

[Odd John]

Droll, very droll...

[BuryBadBooks]

HA! I needed that laugh.

[NOT AGENT X]

Dear Me,

You had me at "god writer". 450 pages of life tell me you  are very young. That being said how about you turn these 450 pages into a picture book?  There are a lot of weird picture books being published nowadays and this would fit right in. However if "Love and Other Indoor Sports" is your title you should probably change it. Just saying.
 
BTW I loved your pitch-er  ! And I  love rejects -- who doesn't! So do send Grandma's favorite story right along.

Please don't hurt me,
Not Agent X