Dear AVA_writing,
I too am new to this bewildering, beautiful literary realm and have often wondered as you have why we have to compose highly-customized, grammar-perfect, engaging, even enthralling query letters only to receive the occasional request for a partial/full or, more frequently, a form rejection or, much more frequently, no response at all.
Then I looked back on my past life when I was once a powerful executive search consultant leading two regional practices for Korn Ferry, which is essentially the Penguin Random House of the executive search industry. I was the gatekeeper for senior executives seeking their next C-suite role with the likes of Starbucks, Google, or GE. I received 5-10 emails a day from these powerful people and I responded to...a few of them. When I had the time. And when I had the inclination to do so from home after a long day at the office.
When I saw something I liked after taking a cursory 3-second look at their email or CV that they had put hours into crafting highlighting careers that had taken decades to establish, I responded with...a form letter that I would do my best to somewhat customize so I wouldn't sound like a jerk (after all, these candidates might one day become a client). Or I would ask my assistant to send a reply on my behalf. I tried my best and didn't think twice about the ones to whom I never even had the decency to reply, because I lived a crazy busy life.
On the other hand, when my clients emailed or called me, I wrote them right back within the day or even hour.
Once I recalled this, I realized two things:
1) Karma exists in this world. I am now on the other side of the table, wearing the other shoe (actually slippers since I now work from home as an exalted author), and I am now the supplicant banging on the gates.
2) Most agents are people like you and me, trying to make it through long days and perhaps even longer nights, while they read and edit client manuscripts, build and maintain relationships with myriad publishing houses, undergo the same challenging, at times, dispiriting submissions process with the publishers that we experience with them. And juggle a family. And perhaps maintain a personal life.
With this in mind, I have come to especially appreciate the positive replies, the rejections with helpful feedback, and even the form rejections that try to make me feel better even as they decline my query. Because someone took the time to send one of these despite their crazy busy lives.
Not sure whether any of this helps, but it helped me to put things in perspective.
Sincerely,
RCL