All of this detailed anxiety (which I share) at the last reminds me that I will write no matter what. Why?:
a) It's in my bones, my marrow.
b) I enjoy it (mostly). Mostly in the sense of personal satisfaction.
c) It beats doing what I used to do too much of, hanging around in bars shooting pool and such.
d) After a certain period of time, I'll self-publish. There's always a chance of being "discovered" later.
e) I feel a "duty" to write.
That's the whole ball of wax, made into a candle and burning at both ends.
Good, because we have to first write for ourselves! I feel this too, like I'll keep writing no matter what. It's a compulsion. But it would be nice if one day a novel I wrote took on its own life and went out into the world.
Note: I am a professional writer anyway, with a non-fiction book deal and journalistic bylines. If you need to write and you are persistent and you read a lot and you have a flair for communication, one day it'll happen.
