Author Topic: Critique partner for adult commercial novel [sex, drug use, profanity, adult sit  (Read 109 times)

Offline mikepellegrini

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I'm looking to trade chapter/manuscripts with someone, whatever commitment works. I'll read what you give me and try to give you a good critical analysis.

My interests are fairly diverse:  I'm into mysteries (John D McDonald, Michael Connelly, Earl Emerson, Wambaugh), SF (Heinlein, Harrison, Niven, Pournelle, James SA Corey, Samuel Delany, Cory Doctorow), literary (Steinbeck, Hemingway, Orwell, Updike, McMurtry), the Tolkien books, biographies  and history - particularly WWII in Europe and North Africa (I've actually read Winston Churchill's 6 volume series on WWII twice.  I've read, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, by William Shirer, maybe a half dozen times!  Pretty weird).

I have a 98,000 word adult commercial novel.  Warnings for profanity, sex, drug use, adult situations. 

From the query:

LOOK OUT THE CANDYMAN is a commercial novel with upmarket potential, about sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. It’s set in Monterey, California, in 1974.

What if you find out your dream girl is tragically flawed, and hell-bent on self-destruction?   

Mark's twenty-two, a gifted, aspiring rock musician with ambitions of making it big. Life’s great but he’s missing a couple really important things: a band to play with and Gail, his old flame. 

A chronic overachiever, Gail’s smart as sh**, highly motivated and can drink almost anyone under the table. When Mark finally hooks up with her and finds out she’s dealing weed, he’s in seventh heaven – Gail’s got big plans for her weed business and she’s taking Mark along for the ride.

Caught up in the excitement of being back with Gail and making big bucks for the first time in his life, Mark’s musical goals get left by the wayside. Not everything’s rosy, though. He can cope with robbers crashing through the door ripping them off at gunpoint, and the hitmen hired to find and kill the robbers. He can even put up with the constant threat of being busted and hauled off to prison. But not Gail’s drinking.

As their business grows and pressures build, Gail’s drinking gets out of control. The night of their biggest deal ever, Gail goes on a huge bender and their relationship reaches the breaking point. Mark’s in a desperate predicament: either find some way to convince her to stop drinking, or face walking away from the woman he loves and the business they built.


I posted the first chapter in the first chapter forum.