Author Topic: YA Mystery/Drama  (Read 221 times)

Offline meganden

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YA Mystery/Drama
« on: June 22, 2022, 10:47:40 AM »

CHAPTER ONE

How I ended up camping deep in the woods with a bunch of popular kids that I despise is beyond my understanding. Casey practically begged me to come with her and because she is my best friend, I agreed. I hate disappointing Casey. Disappointing Casey would be the absolute last thing I would want to do on a Saturday night with being stuck in the woods with these people being a close second.

"We should play Never Have I Ever, or like Spin the Bottle or something, " Sara Watkins squeals as the last vestiges of her pounded beer sputter out, along with her predictable party game suggestion.

"Spin the bottle? But f**king instead of kissing. This ain't middle school boys and girls" Donovan Hanson adds his own brand of roided up asshole to hide the fact that he's been eye-f**king the sh** out of the team's new quarterback.

"Butt f**king is always off the table for me," his hopelessly clueless girlfriend, Jasmine, says.
   With each tacky suggestion for the night's activities, Donovan and his minions look at me. It's not because they like me, or even consider me worthy of their glare, it's because they want to see me break. I've had my bouts with breaking, whether it be in health class, during a school trip to our town's version of an amusement park, or a car ride over a bridge. The last one at least makes sense to people who know my history, but it doesn't make the panic attack that comes with it any better.

"Opal, is that you? No way", says Will Stenton.

Will is the kind of guy that is hard to define. He's not popular but manages to befriend the popular people. How this doesn't make him popular by proxy is the diversely unexplainable politics of high school. His acknowledging me throws me through a loop. We have been lab partners, and have sat next to each other since the third grade. He's Stenton, I'm Stenberg. So goes fate. We never formed anything resembling a connection outside of the classroom. It does make me feel better that he's here. He's usually nice and interesting to talk to, and I may have had a crush on him in the past. I decide to smile and he gives me a knowing nod.

It's getting later, almost two in the morning and the campfire is going out. Everyone is either too drunk, too high, or too tired to say much beyond a questionable grunt as they find their tent. I go to my tent, the one I brought to share with Casey. The moonlight is bright enough that I can see the outlines of Casey and generic football player number two.

"Casey, it's getting late. He needs to get back in his tent so I can sleep," I whisper. Casey peeks her head out of the tent. "Hey, would you hate me right now if I tell you that I told Jordan he could stay in here with me?"

"Are you kidding? Casey, it's my tent. Why don't you go to his tent?"

"It's taken. Please, I'm begging you. Tonight is the night," she says as quietly as she can. I'm pissed, but I'm also slightly jealous. Not of her, of him. Casey's far too perfect for his below averageness. Rather than tell her exactly how pissed I am, I make some completely bizarre sound I hope she hears as irritation. Then I creep through the woods to find my car since it's the only place I can sleep, and it's my mom's car that we came in and I drove, even though I hate being in cars. All for Casey to shoo away.

Casey's my only real friend because of my obnoxious habits that scare everyone away from me. She's the friend that I've had since the first day of kindergarten. The one that knows my entire history and the reason I fear cars, especially over bridges. We used to have a friendship that felt equal. I would unload my worries, and she would unload her worries. Her life isn't perfect and I've been there for her just as she's been there for me, but lately, she seems to care less. She seems to want to drift away. Far away from me.
"Opal, where are you going?" Will says to me. I walk over to him thinking he has weed and am disappointed to see he's only looking at the stars with his phone's astronomy app.
"Going to my car. Change of plans,"
"So, you're leaving?"
"Wasn't planning on it. Was going to sleep in the back of my mom’s Jeep since Casey and some dude are in my tent,"

"Stay in mine. It's a four-person and I'm only one person in the tent. What do you say?" it's not the best plan, I will admit. Sleeping next to a guy who is a stranger for the most part. I know I should tell him it would make more sense for me to sleep in the car. It's warm in there, anyway. But I don't. I tell him yes and follow him to his four-person tent. Four children tent, maybe. I don't leave. I lay on the floor in a fetal position without warming up to the blankets, pillows, or Will. He can lie over there; I will lie over here and never shall the two meet.
"I kind of have something embarrassing to tell you," Will whispers way too close to my ear. "I thought you may come today. That's why I wanted to come. I hope that doesn't make me sound lame."
I don't really want to turn around. If we make eye contact, things may get weird. Someone staring back at me is admitting they know who I am. They see me.
"I was pretty happy to see you, too." I muster, which may sound incredibly idiotic, but I don't want to berate myself for something that already happened.
I feel him coming closer to me. His chest is touching my back and I can hear him breathe. His heart is racing fast and hard enough that my back also feels the rapid beat. Feeling his heart and his breath so close to mine feels the most personal. It's like everything is real and this is how normal people live their normal lives. His crotch is definitely on my butt right now. I may not have a lot of experience, but I know what sexual excitement feels like. Not that I've ever done that. Felt someone else's excitement. But like nature and biology and sh**. He finally wraps his arm around me and I decide instantly to turn toward him and face the penetrating eye contact. I don't have to though, because he kisses me before I have time to think. To think of anything would be impossible right now. He's on top of me and I don’t even know where to put my hands.

What levels are we going to right now? Like, is this the get naked level, or is this what constitutes making out? This is why being seventeen and barely kissing a boy before is a problem. He knows where to put his hands. He's under my bra and I unclasp it without thinking. It's like muscle memory but without the memory. I keep rubbing his naked back because I am not ready to go below the equator, but apparently, Will is because he's bringing down my pants. That's when the lightning hit. That's not a euphemism or some Sex and the City orgasm nonsense. No, lightning hits the tree right next to our tent. I grab my clothes to get out but Will tries to pull me back.


"Where are you going? We were kind of in the middle of something," he whines.

This time he has me back on the ground and the weight of him on me is making me suffocate. Rain is pounding on the tents. No one is alarmed, but then again, we live in Washington, so rain is normal. I know the lightning hit too close and I have no idea what the tent is made of. In my mind, I am already out of the tent. I'm back in my car and I'm getting the f**k out of the woods. In reality, I'm still there. I tell him I don't want to, but he doesn't hear me. Did I even tell him to stop? Was it my own voice I heard, or was it in my head? He's hurting me. I tell him, I think I say it out loud, but he doesn't hear me. My body is flaccid and tired. My mind is somewhere else and forgot to bring me with it. I wish it would come back.

His weight isn't on me anymore, so I pull up my pants quickly and pull myself out of the tent and begin to run through the evergreens. I don't find my car because I realized I ran the wrong way. I went in the direction the car was in when I was going to be sharing a tent with Casey. I didn't share a tent with Casey. When I try to walk back, I wonder if I should go back. Will is shouting something and coming toward me. I walk away and pretend I don't hear him. He's coming faster, so I go faster even though I trip over some rocks and fallen branches. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I want to be away from him. I see a bridge and know that my car is in the lot on the other side. I've been walking for a while. The problem is that I don't go over bridges. I will find my own way around it. Bridges that are for looks are fine, but that's because there's no water streaming underneath and they aren't suspended above the water.

I close my eyes, because I know that I have to get across this time. I center myself at the end of the bridge, close my eyes, and run. I run too far and face plant into a massive rock. The scraped knee may be the best thing that's happened to me all night. I throw up. I do it while I'm running and it was mostly bile and water. Good thing I didn't eat those chilly fries for dinner. My eyes are open and I know where I'm going, but the rumbling of the thunder and flashes of lightning are too much and I run straight into a tree. I saw the tree; my eyes were wide open and my body decided to go directly into it. Another instance where my body refuses to connect to my brain and now this unbroken forest is getting salty with me. I'm talking skinning calves, turning ankles, low-hanging death traps.

I'm in the car now. I left my stuff at camp, including my keys. Luckily, my mom buys sh** advertised on Facebook, and so there's a spare key in the magnetic box under the wheel well. I get in the car and slam it in reverse. I drive to the main road as fast as I can. I know Casey will be pissed when she finds out I left. Like she would even notice. f**k Casey. f**k this night.

Offline Jub666

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Re: YA Mystery/Drama
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2022, 08:03:51 AM »
Hi Meganden


I think you have the start of a very interesting story. You're doing a lot of telling and not enough showing. It would be great it you can add more of what she's thinking and feeling so we can get into her head. I have made some comments / notes below (and crossed out or changed bits that I felt stopped the flow of the story - sorry, I got s bit carried-away!). I hope some suggestions will help. Please feel free to ignore though, I'm no expert :D

Jx




CHAPTER ONE

How I ended up camping deep in the woods with a bunch of popular kids that I despise is beyond my understanding. Casey practically begged me to come with her and because she is my best friend, I agreed. I hate disappointing Casey. Disappointing Casey would be the absolute last thing I would want to do on a Saturday night with being stuck in the woods with these people being a close second.[/s] - I think you could use this further down.

"We should play Never Have I Ever, or like Spin the Bottle or something, " (Get rid of the extra space after the comma) Sara Watkins squeals as the last vestiges of her pounded beer sputter out, along with her predictable party game suggestion.

"Spin the bottle? But f**king instead of kissing. This ain't middle school, boys and girls." Donovan Hanson adds his own brand of roided-up asshole to hide the fact that he's been eye-f**king the sh** out of the team's new quarterback.

"Butt f**king is always off the table for me," his hopelessly clueless girlfriend, Jasmine, says. (Nice play on words)
   With each tacky suggestion for the night's activities, Donovan and his minions look at me. It's not because they like me, or even consider me worthy of their glare, it's because they want to see me break. I've had my bouts with breaking, whether it be in health class, during a school trip to our town's version of an amusement park, or a car ride over a bridge. The last one at least makes sense to people who know my history, but it doesn't make the panic attack that comes with it any better. (Does she slump down where she's sitting? Look away from the stares? Cringe? Put her chin up defiantly?)

"Opal, is that you? No way", (comma needs to be before the quotation mark) says Will Stenton.

Will is the kind of guy that who is hard to define. He's not popular but manages to befriend the popular people. How this doesn't make him popular by proxy is the diversely unexplainable politics of high school. His acknowledging me throws me through a loop. We have been lab partners, and have sat next to each other since the third grade. He's Stenton, I'm Stenberg. So goes fate. We never formed anything resembling a connection outside of the classroom. But it does make me feel better that he's here. He's usually nice and interesting to talk to, and I may have had a crush on him in the past. I decide to smile and he gives me a knowing nod.

How I ended up camping deep in the woods with a bunch of popular kids that I despise is beyond my understanding. Casey practically begged me to come with her and because she is my best friend, I agreed. I hate disappointing Casey. (I moved the start of your first paragraph here). Is she pissed that she came all this way only for Casey to vanish into her tent with a footballer? Is she wishing she had stayed home to watch TV with her Mom? It would be good to know more about how she's feeling.

It's getting later almost two in the morning and the campfire is going out. Everyone is either too drunk, too high, or too tired to say much beyond a questionable grunt as they find their tent. I go (stagger, tiptoe, crunch through the pine needles) to my tent, the one I brought to share with Casey. The moonlight is bright enough that I can see the outlines of Casey and generic football player number two. (I'm not sure you would see the outline of someone in a dark tent. I think the people in the tent are more likely to see you if you're in the moonlight.)

"Casey, it's getting late. He needs to get back in his tent so I can sleep," I whisper. Casey peeks her head out of the tent. "Hey, would you hate me right now if I tell you that I told Jordan he could stay in here with me. Please don't hate me.?" (The original sentence sounded a bit clunky so I split it up)

"Are you kidding? Casey, it's my tent. Why don't you go to his tent?"

"It's taken. Please, I'm begging you. Tonight is the night," she says as quietly as she can. I'm pissed, but I'm also slightly jealous. Not of her, of him. Casey's far too perfect for his below averageness. Rather than tell her exactly how pissed I am, I make some completely bizarre sound I hope she hears as irritation. Then I creep through the woods to find my mom's car since it's the only place I can sleep., and it's my mom's car that we came in and I drove here, even though I hate being in cars, as Casey well knows. And all for Casey her to just shoo me away without a single thought about where I'll sleep. (Can you try and show us Opal's anger or frustration or sadness here?)

Casey's my only real friend. because of my My obnoxious habits that scare everyone most other kids away from me. She's the friend that I've had since the my first day of kindergarten. The one that knows my entire history and including the reason I fear cars, especially driving over bridges. We used to have a friendship that felt equal. I would unload my worries, and she would unload her worries. Her life isn't perfect and I've been there for her just as she's been there for me. , bBut lately, she seems to care less. She seems to want to drift away. Far away from me.
"Opal, where are you going?" Will says to me. (Does she jump at his voice, thinking everyone is in bed? Is she pleased to see him?) I walk over to him thinking he has weed and am disappointed to see he's only looking at the stars with his phone's astronomy app. (Why does she think he has weed? Is she hoping that?)
"Going to my car. Change of plans,."
"So, you're leaving?"
"Wasn't planning on it. Was going to sleep in the back of my mom’s Jeep since Casey and some dude are in my tent.,"

"Stay in mine. It's a four-person and I'm on my own only one person in the tent. What do you say?" it's not the best plan, I will admit. Sleeping next to a guy who I don't know so well is not the best idea, I'll admit.is a stranger for the most part Stranger seems like the wrong word since she has known him from school and even had a crush on him. I know I should tell him it would make more sense for me to sleep in I'll sleep in the car. It's warm in there, anyway. But I don't. I tell him yes and follow him to his four-person tent. Four-children tent, more like but maybe I don't leave. I lay lie on the floor in a fetal position well away from Will and his pile of without warming up to the blankets, and pillows, or Will. He can lie over there; I will lie over here and never shall the two meet.
"I kind of have something embarrassing to tell you," Will whispers way too close to my ear. "I thought you may come be here today. That's why I wanted to come. I hope that doesn't make me sound lame."
I don't really want to turn around. If we make eye contact, things may get weird. Someone staring back at me is admitting they know who I am. (I'm not sure what you mean here) They see me.
"I was pretty happy to see you, too,." I muster. , which may sound incredibly idiotic, but I don't want to berate myself for something that already happened. I scored this out because Opal is telling the story in the present tense. She can't berate herself for something that hasn't happened yet.
I feel him coming closer to me. His chest is touching my back and I can hear him breathe. His heart is racing fast and hard enough that my back also feels the rapid beat. Feeling his heart and his breath so close to mine feels the most personal. It's like everything is real and this is how normal people live their normal lives. (I would re-word the last 2 sentences. You're repeating things and not really showing us how Opal is feeling. Is her heart beating faster? Is she holding her breath - waiting to see what he'll say next? Is she sweating? Tingling with anticipation, or feeling the first prickles of fear?) His crotch is definitely on my butt right now. I may not have a lot of experience, but I'm pretty sure I know what sexual excitement feels like. Not that I've ever done that. Felt someone else's excitement. But like nature and biology and sh**. He finally wraps his arm around me and I decide instantly to turn toward him and to face the his penetrating gaze eye contact. I don't have to though, because he kisses me before I have time to think. To think of anything would be impossible right now. He's on top of me and I don’t even know where to put my hands.

What levels are we going to right now? Like, is this the get naked level, or is this what constitutes making out? This is why being seventeen and barely kissing a boy before is a problem. He knows where to put his hands. He's under my bra and I unclasp it without thinking. It's like muscle memory but without the memory. I keep rubbing his naked back because I am not ready to go below the equator, but apparently, Will is because he's bringing down my pants. That's when the lightning hits (present tense). That's not a euphemism, or some Sex and the City orgasm nonsense. No, lightning literally hits the tree right next to our tent. I grab my clothes to get out but Will tries to pulls me back.

"Where are you going? We were kind of in the middle of something," he whines.

Before I know what's happening, This time he has me back on the ground, and the weight of him on me is making me suffocate suffocating. Rain is pounding on the tents. No one is seems alarmed, but then again, we live in Washington, so rain is normal. I know the lightning hit too close and I have no idea what the tent is made of. In my mind, I am already out of the tent. I'm back in my car and I'm getting the f**k out of the woods. In reality, I'm still there here in the tent. I tell him I don't want to, but he doesn't stop hear me. Did I even tell him to stop? Was it my own voice I heard, or was it in my head? He's hurting me. I tell him;, I think I say it out loud, but he doesn't seem to hear me. My body is flaccid and tired. My mind is somewhere else and forgot to bring me with it. I wish it would come back. Can you tell us more about why Opal is flaccid and her mind elsewhere. Is she fuzzy from drinking? Is she so stressed about what he's doing to her that she's disassociating? Is his weight on her making her dizzy and unable to push him off her?  (just some suggestions about how you can show us more about what she's feeling)

His weight isn't on me anymore, so I pull up my pants quickly, and pull bolt myself out of the tent, and begin to run through the evergreens. I don't can't find my car because I realized I ran the wrong way. I went in the direction the car was in when I was going to be sharing a tent with Casey. I didn't share a tent with Casey. How is she feeling? Scared that she's lost in the woods? Feeling disbelief about what's just happened? Is she in pain? Is she feeling numb? When I try to walk back, I stop and wonder if I should go back. Will is shouting something and coming toward me. I walk away and pretend I don't hear him. He's coming faster, so I go faster break into a run again even though I trip over some rocks and fallen branches. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I want to be away from him. I see a bridge and know realize that my car is in the lot on the other side. I've been walking for a while. The problem is I don't go over bridges. I will have to find my own way around it. Bridges that are for looks are fine, but that's because there's no water streaming underneath and they aren't suspended above the water. Try and evoke some feeling of the panic she would be feeling. She's like prey running from a hunter. She's lost, can't find her car, and is faced with a bridge which petrifies her.

I close my eyes, because I know that I have to get across. this time. I center myself at I creep to the end start of the bridge, close my eyes, and run. I run too far and face-plant into a massive rock. The scraped knee may be the best thing that's happened to me all night. I throw up. I do it while I'm running and it was (past tense) It's mostly bile and water. Good thing I didn't eat those chilly fries for dinner. I stand and start to run again. My eyes are open and I know where I'm going, but the rumbling of the thunder and flashes of lightning are too much (I would re-word this - tell us how she's feeling) and I run straight into a tree. I see the tree before I run into it; my eyes were wide open and my body decided to go directly into it. Another instance where mMy body, again, refuses to connect to my brain and now this unbroken forest is getting salty with me. I'm talking skinning calves, turning ankles, low-hanging death traps.

I'm in the car now. (She gets into the car after this) I reach the car. I left my stuff at camp, including my keys. Luckily, my mom buys sh** advertised on Facebook, and so there's a spare key in the a magnetic box under the wheel well. I get in the car and slam it in reverse. I drive to the main road as fast as I can. I know Casey will be pissed when she finds out I left. Like she would even notice. f**k Casey. f**k this night. (Casey can't be pissed if she doesn't notice) - How does Opal feel when she reaches the car? Does she slam all the locks down in case Will comes crashing out of the forest? Does she take a few seconds to try and compose herself and breathe?


Sorry - I got a bit carried away! Apologies. This is what it ends up like after all the purple and blue and strike-outs have gone:

CHAPTER ONE



"We should play Never Have I Ever, or like Spin the Bottle or something,"  Sara Watkins squeals as the last vestiges of her pounded beer sputter out, along with her predictable party game suggestion.

"Spin the bottle? But f**king instead of kissing. This ain't middle school, boys and girls." Donovan Hanson adds his own brand of roided-up asshole to hide the fact that he's been eye-f**king the sh** out of the team's new quarterback.

"Butt-f**king is always off the table for me," his clueless girlfriend, Jasmine, says.

With each tacky suggestion for the night's activities, Donovan and his minions look at me. It's not because they like me, or even consider me worthy of their glare, it's because they want to see me break. I've had my bouts with breaking, whether it be in health class, during a school trip to our town's version of an amusement park, or a car ride over a bridge. The last one at least makes sense to people who know my history, but it doesn't make the panic attack that comes with it any better.

"Opal, is that you? No way," says Will Stenton.

Will is hard to define. He's not popular but manages to befriend the popular people. How this doesn't make him popular by proxy is the diversely unexplainable politics of high school. His acknowledging me throws me through a loop. We have been lab partners, and sat next to each other since the third grade. He's Stenton, I'm Stenberg. So goes fate. We never formed anything resembling a connection outside of the classroom. But it does make me feel better that he's here. He's usually nice and interesting to talk to, and I may have had a crush on him in the past. I smile and he gives me a knowing nod.

How I ended up camping deep in the woods with a bunch of popular kids that I despise is beyond my understanding. Casey practically begged me to come with her and because she is my best friend, I agreed. I hate disappointing Casey. 

It's almost two in the morning and the campfire is going out. Everyone is too drunk, too high, or too tired to say much as they find their tent. I go to my tent, the one I brought to share with Casey. The moonlight is bright enough that I can see the outlines of Casey and generic football player number two.

"Casey, it's getting late. He needs to get back in his tent so I can sleep," I whisper. Casey peeks her head out of the tent. "Hey, I told Jordan he could stay in here. Please don't hate me."

"Are you kidding? Casey, it's my tent. Why don't you go to his tent?"

"It's taken. Please, I'm begging you. Tonight is the night," she says as quietly as she can. I'm pissed, but I'm also slightly jealous. Not of her, of him. Casey's far too perfect for his averageness. Rather than tell her exactly how pissed I am, I make some bizarre sound I hope she hears as irritation. Then I creep through the woods to find my mom's car since it's the only place I can sleep. I drove here, even though I hate being in cars, as Casey well knows. And all for her to just shoo me away without a single thought about where I'll sleep.
 
Casey's my only real friend. My obnoxious habits scare most other kids away from me. She's the friend that I've had since my first day of kindergarten. The one that knows my entire history including the reason I fear cars, especially driving over bridges. We used to have a friendship that felt equal. I would unload my worries, and she would unload her worries. Her life isn't perfect and I've been there for her just as she's been there for me. But lately, she seems to care less. She seems to want to drift away from me.

"Opal, where are you going?" Will says to me.
I walk over to him thinking he has weed and am disappointed to see he's only looking at the stars with his phone's astronomy app. 
"Going to my car. Change of plan."
"So, you're leaving?"
"Wasn't planning on it. Was going to sleep in the back of my mom’s Jeep since Casey and some dude are in my tent."
"Stay in mine. It's a four-person and I'm on my own. What do you say?"

Sleeping next to a guy who I don't know so well is not the best idea, I'll admit. I know I should tell him I'll sleep in the car. But I don't. I tell him yes and follow him to his four-person tent. Four-children tent, more like but I don't leave. I lie on the floor in a fetal position well away from Will and his pile of blankets and pillows.

"I kind of have something embarrassing to tell you," Will whispers way too close to my ear. "I thought you may be here today. That's why I wanted to come. I hope that doesn't make me sound lame."

I don't really want to turn around. If we make eye contact, things may get weird. Someone staring back at me is admitting they know who I am. They see me.
"I was pretty happy to see you, too," I muster.

I feel him coming closer to me. His chest is touching my back and I can hear him breathe. His heart is racing hard enough that my back also feels the rapid beat. Feeling his heart and his breath so close to mine feels the most personal. It's like everything is real and this is how normal people live their normal lives.  His crotch is definitely on my butt right now. I may not have a lot of experience, but I'm pretty sure I know what sexual excitement feels like. He finally wraps his arm around me and I turn toward him to face his penetrating gaze. I don't have to though, because he kisses me before I have time to think. To think of anything would be impossible right now. He's on top of me and I don’t even know where to put my hands.

What levels are we going to right now? Like, is this the get naked level, or is this what constitutes making out? This is why being seventeen and barely kissing a boy before is a problem. He knows where to put his hands. He's under my bra and I unclasp it without thinking. I keep rubbing his naked back because I am not ready to go below the equator, but apparently, Will is because he's bringing down my pants. That's when the lightning hits. That's not a euphemism, or some Sex and the City orgasm nonsense. No, lightning literally hits the tree right next to our tent. I grab my clothes to get out but Will pulls me back.

"Where are you going? We were kind of in the middle of something," he whines.

Before I know what's happening, he has me back on the ground, and the weight of him on me is suffocating. Rain is pounding on the tents. No one seems alarmed, but then again, we live in Washington, so rain is normal. I know the lightning hit too close and I have no idea what the tent is made of. In my mind, I am already out of the tent. I'm back in my car and I'm getting the f**k out of the woods. In reality, I'm still here in the tent.

I tell him I don't want to, but he doesn't stop. Did I even tell him to stop? Was it my own voice I heard, or was it in my head? He's hurting me. I tell him; I think I say it out loud, but he doesn't seem to hear me. My body is flaccid and tired. My mind is somewhere else. I wish it would come back.

His weight isn't on me anymore, so I pull up my pants quickly, bolt out of the tent, and run through the evergreens. I can't find my car because I ran the wrong way. I stop and wonder if I should go back. Will is shouting something and coming toward me. I walk away and pretend I don't hear him. He's coming faster, so I break into a run again. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I want to be away from him. I see a bridge and realize that my car is in the lot on the other side. The problem is, I don't go over bridges.

I know I have to get across. I creep to the start of the bridge, close my eyes, and run. I run too far and face-plant into a massive rock. The scraped knee may be the best thing that's happened to me all night. I throw up. It's mostly bile and water. Good thing I didn't eat those chilly fries for dinner. I stand and start to run again. My eyes are open and I know where I'm going, but the rumbling of the thunder and flashes of lightning are too much. I see the tree before I run into it; my body, again, refuses to connect to my brain and now this unbroken forest is getting salty with me.
 
I reach the car. I left my stuff at camp, including my keys. Luckily, my mom buys sh** advertised on Facebook, so there's a spare key in a magnetic box under the wheel well. I get in the car and slam it in reverse. I drive to the main road as fast as I can. Casey will be pissed when she finds out I left.  f**k Casey. f**k this night.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2022, 06:28:45 AM by Jub666 »