Author Topic: The Forebear Chronicles: Validation (Science Fiction/Fantasy) Synopsis  (Read 155 times)

Offline KLHParker

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 10
  • Karma: 0
Twelve-year-old twins Hannelore and Hans are being abandoned by their mother Miranda at their Oma’s farm – their father’s mother. They do not know Oma well. Their father is Dr. Adam Hafner. He is a gifted nanotechnologist, and he has been away for three months on a top-secret project. A loving father, he has shielded his children from his own mother based on his concern that his mother is not a grounded person. He grew up with her stories about how he was born into a special family called a Forebear family, which consults with angels and performs “time travel”. He never experienced this for himself, and being a scientist, he wanted to shield his children from false realities. The night after their mother discards them at Oma’s house, however, the twins find out that the Forebear family stories are true. They learn that angels and demons exist, and they are battling each other. Influencing humans, essentially treating them like pawns, is a demon’s tactic.

Haniel is the angel watching over this Forebear family line. He arrives and teaches the twins what it means to be a Forebearer: set apart from other families, they have a special privilege to access history through ancestors. He takes the twins to the Veil where the Tree of Life is kept secure. The Tree of Life is like a data tree. It contains all the information of every human who has ever lived. Forebearers can access the experiences of direct ancestors, through a process called familiaring, by which they can learn key information that has been encapsulated in the moment in time in which their ancestor experienced it, stored in the tree. The twins familiar with their father to learn how it works.

Dr. Adam Hafner is at work with scientists of every imaginable field to discern a type of communication able to transmit data at the cellular level “wirelessly”. Data transmission that can directly reprogram DNA to turn cancer cells back into healthy cells. Data transmission that can telepathically communicate information directly into a mind. There has been documented evidence that this is happening, but finding where the communication comes from, and what is the code being used, is elusive. Finding it will challenge the scientists to break past conventions and prejudices.

Haniel charges the twins to obtain an ancient codex/book hidden in Bavaria. The information in it relates to their father’s research – it explains the communication medium his team is seeking, and the code used in it. To validate the codex/book, they must prove it is authentic. The twins familiar back to an ancestor who participated in the 1101 Crusade, who was responsible for apprehending the codex in Anatolia (Turkey), and bringing the codex to Europe, which is where it has been kept secure for all these centuries.

Meanwhile, their mother Miranda is with “spiritual guide” Decker at a convention and seeking her own career and success. She is under the influence of her personal demon, Mammon.  She is having a difficult week, but Mammon and other demons attached to other convention attendees work out a plan to keep control over Miranda. She is leverage, a tool to get to her husband Dr. Hafner. Dr. Hafner’s research is something the demons want to understand first, before humans. Mammon’s ambition is to be one of the demons who finally, after all these millennia, helps achieve this ultimate prize. The code is needed for them to hack into the Tree of Life.

Dr. Adam Hafner’s team comes to a consensus and a hypothesis they can work with, to start plotting out a theory for this elusive communication. The twins successfully bring the codex to the correct authorities, and are able to give key information that allows the codex to be authenticated by experts in the field. Now it can be sent to those who can unseal it, and translate it. The complications Mammon has experienced getting Miranda under his control is ironed out, and now she is comfortably in his influential grip. The race is on to see who will possess this communication first. Ultimately, if in the wrong hands, it could mean the corruption of all humans – the corruption of the Tree of Life itself.
Katherine LH Parker

Offline Lanita

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 20
  • Karma: 3
Re: The Forebear Chronicles: Validation (Science Fiction/Fantasy) Synopsis
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2022, 03:16:48 PM »
Hi, this isn't a genre I usually read, but I noticed a few general dev edit issues that would be true regardless of genre.


I don't know who the main character is. It doesn't seem to follow anyone in particular. I can only assume the twins are the MCs because you open with them.

There are too many names that start with H. Too easy to mix up the characters.

Do you mean the mother is literally abandoning the children and not coming back? If she knows her mother-in-law is unstable, why take the kids there? Sounds like she really doesn't like her own children (on top of having her own issues that lead her to abandon them). **Later you explain the mother is controlled by a demon, so you could move that info to the beginning when you say she abandons them. This would make the reason clear.

How do the twins realize the family stories are true on the first night if the father couldn't figure it out after years of living there? If the father was born into the family he must have known more than just stories if he grew up in that house.

Also, a synopsis should tell the whole story, including spoilers and the ending. It should not end on a cliff hanger. Agents request a synopsis to see how well you know how to plot.

« Last Edit: September 25, 2022, 05:36:54 PM by Lanita »

Offline KLHParker

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 10
  • Karma: 0
Re: The Forebear Chronicles: Validation (Science Fiction/Fantasy) Synopsis
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2022, 02:59:29 PM »
Thank you for these insights! They are helpful, and much of it confirmation of things I already sensed needed attention.

One thing you might have a further comment to share: This synopsis is for this one book, but this book is the first of a trilogy.

As such, this synopsis provides the plot to where the first book wraps up:

1)Dr. Adam Hafner’s team comes to a consensus and a hypothesis they can work with, to start plotting out a theory for this elusive communication.

2)The twins successfully bring the codex to the correct authorities. They are able to give key information to the authorities that allows the codex to be authenticated by experts in the field. Now it can be sent to those who can unseal it and translate it.

3)The complications Mammon has experienced trying to get Miranda under his control is ironed out, and now she is comfortably in his influential grip.

I can give details about where story concludes at the end of the third book, but I am a little unsure how I should present it with the synopsis for the first book.

If you have some ideas about this, I am very open. Thank you!



Katherine LH Parker

Offline MichelleG

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1122
  • Karma: 152
    • MICHELLE GWYNN JONES - NEW GRACE NEWS
Re: The Forebear Chronicles: Validation (Science Fiction/Fantasy) Synopsis
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2022, 10:19:15 PM »
Interesting story.

Each book in a trilogy must have a beginning, a middle and an end - all contributing and leading to the overall story. Look at Harry Potter - the overall story is the conflict between Harry and Voldermort, but each book has its own story and its own villain and each villain is taken down by the end of that book. Foreshadowing and backstory tie the books together.

I gather The race is on to see who will possess this communication first. Ultimately, if in the wrong hands, it could mean the corruption of all humans – the corruption of the Tree of Life itself. is the overall story for the trilogy.

Expanding on what Lanita said in her comment - whats with the father?  Why doesn't the father go to the Tree of Life and get the information? Why hasn't he gone before?  If he didn't know, then why does Hansel pick now to tell the twins (why didn't he tell the father)?

But then you say this The twins familiar with their father to learn how it works.  So the father does know. at least something. And you can 'familiar' with living people? Interesting twist.

I am sure it is different in the novel itself, but here the twins are superfluous.

Not exactly synopsis related - more wording - how is the mother going to a convention abandoning her children - meanwhile the father who has been away for three months on a top-secret project hasn't abandoned his children?

Now I don't know them personally, but I know how the conversation would go in my life - "You don't want your mother watching our children while I go to a convention, then you need to get your ass home and watch them. I'm leaving on Friday."
"You look at these scattered houses, and you are impressed by their beauty. I look at them, and the only thought which comes to me is a feeling of isolation and the impunity with which crime may be committed there." - Sherlock Homes, The Copper Beeches - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Offline KLHParker

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 10
  • Karma: 0
Re: The Forebear Chronicles: Validation (Science Fiction/Fantasy) Synopsis
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2022, 01:50:22 PM »
Thank you for the feedback! Very helpful! It gives me an understanding of the immediate curiosities that come to your mind so I can address them in the next draft of it. Much appreciated!
Katherine LH Parker