Author Topic: TREE MAN Sci Fi  (Read 255 times)

Offline Pineapplejuice

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TREE MAN Sci Fi
« on: September 10, 2022, 04:41:03 AM »
(I haven't written this book yet...still world building, but want to get a query version out of the way to spare my sanity later, and possibly direct me with plot holes etc. I need to trim...among other things no doubt.Thanks for looking at it!)




Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my 100,000 word Sci-Fi fantasy novel TREE MAN.

Amity Blackwood is a bubble lady. She wears a special suit and drives a bubble car. Her home is sealed up like a Biosecurity Level 4 Lab all because of her illness from the chemical fallout of a botched attempt to block the sun in 2031.

When Amity is stuck at home due to a broken ankle and glimpses the posts on social media about the "Golden Rain", she dismisses it as a hoax. But then her neighbor informs her it's true. The Golden Rain is happening globally and it's causing all manner of health problems. A storm hits the area and Amity rushes outside in her bubble suit to chase after her cat, Beatty, when she slips and hits her head. When she comes to she meets man made of moss and twisted branches.

A romance ensues...and her town suspects The Tree Man caused the Golden Rain, and the media claims the Golden Rain has caused mass inferility. The Bubble people are unaffected...so now every bacherlor is vying for Amitys attention. Amity is left conlifcted since the Tree Man helped her survive the storm and is healing her. But then people start dying suddenly and The Tree man grows bigger and disappears and Amity finds out she's pregnant. The townspeople are over the moon about her pregnancy, now that it's so rare. 

She resolves to find him and ask what the hell is growing inside her. And also clear his name.

TREE MAN blends the comical romantic mishaps of BRIDGET JONES meets the sentimental science fiction of FRANKENSTEIN or THE SHAPE OF WATER.

Thank you for your time and consideration.



« Last Edit: September 11, 2022, 06:53:15 AM by Pineapplejuice »

Offline Talean

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Re: TREE MAN Sci Fi
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2022, 11:37:29 AM »
This is throwing me for a loop. Bridget Jones meets Frankenstein? I don't even know where to begin, other than to say this sounds like a riot.

Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my 100,000 word Sci-Fi fantasy novel TREE MAN.

Amity Blackwood is a bubble lady. She wears a special suit and drives a bubble car. Her home is sealed up like a Biosecurity Level 4 Lab all because of her illness from the chemical fallout of a botched attempt to block the sun in 2031. This is a fun little paragraph, but I think it's giving the wrong idea. The next bits of the query seem to suggest Amity is the only bubble-person. If there's chemical fallout from some Mr. Burns escapades, why isn't everyone in a bubble?

When Amity is stuck at home due to a broken ankle and glimpses the posts on social media about the "Golden Rain", she dismisses it as a hoax. But then her neighbor informs her it's true. The Golden Rain is happening globally and it's causing all manner of health problems. A storm hits the area and Amity rushes outside in her bubble suit to chase after her cat, Beatty, when she slips and hits her head. When she comes to she meets a man made of moss and twisted branches. Here again, aren't there already a lot of health problems due to the fallout? I feel like paragraph one set up a sort of unfortunate future, but this makes it seem like everyone lives fairly normally EXCEPT Amity. Plus, as a bubble-girl, does she really need a broken ankle to keep her home?

I'm also wondering if there's a better way to phrase a lot of this to get more voice.

Stuck at home, with only social media to entertain her, Amity notices something called "golden rain" is trending. The purported phenomena is apparently causing all sorts of problems, but Amity doesn't believe it. That is, until her cat, spooked by a golden storm, forces Amity to chase her outside. A slip and a fall almost spell disaster, but her bubble seems intact. What's more, her mischievous cat has taken shelter in the arms of a man - a man who happens to be made of moss and twisted branches.


A romance ensues...and her town suspects The Tree Man caused the Golden Rain, and the media claims the Golden Rain has caused mass inferility. The Bubble people are unaffected...so now every bacherlor is vying for Amitys attention. Amity is left conlifcted since the Tree Man helped her survive the storm and is healing her. But then people start dying suddenly and The Tree man grows bigger and disappears and Amity finds out she's pregnant. The townspeople are over the moon about her pregnancy, now that it's so rare. Again, I think this paragraph suffers from lack of voice. Which I don't blame you for, considering you haven't written the story yet - how could there possibly be voice? Still, if I was to take a crack at it:

As claims about the golden rain causing infertility start trending, and Amity's neighbours begin blaming it all on the Tree Man, Amity, like her cat, finds herself drawn to him. He's even healing her, promising an eventual end to her bubble days. But even as she tries to tell people about the Tree Man's virtues, all people see of her posts are that she's in a bubble, and thus unaffected by the rain. Now every bachelor on the planet is vying for her attention, looking to make bubble-girl even rounder with their progeny.

Too bad for them, Tree Man got here first. Too bad for Amity, Tree Man disappears amidst all the chaos, but not before impregnating Amity himself. Suddenly, everyone is overjoyed with the Tree Man, as he's an apparent cure to infertility rather than a menace. But for Amity, who is left with something not quite human growing inside of her, he's become a danger. To discover the cause of the golden rain and the infertility, what the Hell it is that's inside of her, and where the Tree Man came from, Amity must brave the world with nothing but a few millimeters of plastic as armour.


She resolves to find him and ask what the hell is growing inside her. And also clear his name.

TREE MAN blends the comical romantic mishaps of BRIDGET JONES meets the sentimental science fiction of FRANKENSTEIN or THE SHAPE OF WATER.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Just my humble suggestions. Hopefully I gave you some ideas to throw into your worldbuilding!
Designing buildings & writing stories.
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Offline KM

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Re: TREE MAN Sci Fi
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2022, 02:39:38 PM »

Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my 100,000 word Sci-Fi fantasy novel TREE MAN.

Amity Blackwood lives in a bubble, because of is a bubble lady. She wears a special suit and drives a bubble car. Her home is sealed up like a Biosecurity Level 4 Lab all because of her illness from the chemical fallout of a botched attempt to block the sun in 2031.

When Amity is stuck at home due to a broken ankle and glimpses the posts on social media about the "Golden Rain", causing all manner of health problems, she dismisses it as a hoax. But then her neighbor informs her it's true. The Golden Rain is happening globally and it's . A a storm hits the area and Amity rushes outside in her bubble suit to chase after her cat, Beatty, when she slips, and hits her head. When she comes to, she meets a man made of moss and twisted branches has saved her.

A romance ensues...and her The town suspects The Tree Man caused the Golden Rain, and the media claims the Golden Rain has caused mass infertility, The Bubble people are unaffected...so now every bacherlor is vying for Amity's attention. but Amity is left conflicted since the Tree Man helped her survive the storm and is healing her. But then When people start dying suddenly, and The Tree Man grows bigger and then disappears, and Amity does not know who to believe. When she finds out she's pregnant. The townspeople are over the moon about her pregnancy, now that it's so rare. 
she must find him, find out if he really loves her, and resolves to find him and ask what the hell is growing inside her. And also clear his name.

TREE MAN blends the comical romantic mishaps of BRIDGET JONES meets the sentimental science fiction of FRANKENSTEIN or THE SHAPE OF WATER.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Just a few ideas. Sounds intriguing!!