Author Topic: Blurb feedback  (Read 117 times)

Offline clangford1

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Blurb feedback
« on: October 31, 2022, 01:42:38 PM »
Hi,
I was hoping I could get feedback on this blurb. I appreciate it, thanks in advance:)

Walking On Eggshells

‘A wife’s duty is to be with her husband, no matter what.’

This is the rule in the 1950s.

To the outside world, they are the picture of a perfect family. Joe, the charming, handsome and funny game show host. Irene, the dutiful wife and mother. Boris, the bright-eyed little son. With another child on the way, everyone wants a life like the Leslies.

However, looks can deceive, as behind the curtain tells a very different story, one full of violence, gambling, and drugs.

Irene was raised to obey, first her parents, then her husband. Doing her best to be a good wife, she silently carries the burden of her husband’s abuse, but with the birth of her second child, Lorraine, Irene’s life goes from bad to worse as Joe’s gambling, pill-popping, and abuse leave her constantly walking on eggshells.

As their debts begin to rise and Joe’s popularity in London falls, the family embarks on a journey of a lifetime. With a secret affair, an underground casino, and the Australian mafia, Irene’s life takes many twists and turns as she finds the strength to say no. No to being a punching bag, no to being a servant, no to following the rules.

Offline Jodic

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Re: Blurb feedback
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2022, 11:21:35 AM »
Hi Clangford1,

Your novel sounds compelling! You have a lot going on. The trick is for an elevator pitch to summarize this into 20 compelling words. Not easy for me, at all.

Is your novel written from Irene's pov? If so, you might be able to shave it down into something like:


A dutiful wife discovers her husband's past criminal activities threaten her ( children? Their lives, something else at stake), unless she fights to hold onto....

Something along these lines, but I'm sure you will do a much better job. If you look online at elevator pitches, it helps a lot to get a sense of what you need in there. Happy to look again!

Offline clangford1

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Re: Blurb feedback
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2022, 04:55:29 PM »
Thank you so much Jodic:)