Author Topic: The Bored Ultimatum  (Read 5509 times)

Offline Legionsynch

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The Bored Ultimatum
« on: September 04, 2007, 08:56:38 AM »
Dear Mr. Secret Agent Man,

I wrote my brand spanking first novel after seeing Tom Cruise go crazy on Oprah.  Wasn't that insane?  My uncle Dwight went crazy once.  That was after we had to put his Labrador Retriever, Taste the Rainbow, down due to rabies.  As you can see, I've had a rough life.

My novel, The Bored Ultimatum, is something I've been working on for the last five years.  It's not done yet, but by the time you're ready to sign me, I'm sure I can quit my day job and finish it.  Right now, I've got 4,000 words, and I've got to say they're the most action-packed, interesting 4,000 words I've ever read. 

I could tell you about The Bored Ultimatum, but wouldn't it be more interesting to see it?  You can log onto my website, www.ihatechemistry.com to see graphic images that were pulled directly from my brain.  It's set in a small town, just like the one I'm from.  Luckily, mom got me a digital camera for Christmas, and so I used it to stage all the pictures you'll see and love on my website.

I've enclosed the first paragraph with this letter, because it's just enough to whet your appetite for the rest of the story.  But remember, it's not done yet, so I can't send you any more until I know what happens.  That would be stupid, wouldn't it, to send you the rest of the story when I don't even know what happens?  Haha. 

I've enclosed twenty dollars with this query because I know you're going to want it.  Think of it as an advance on my future earnings.  If you're not going to sign me, I'm going to need the twenty dollars back.  My mom's a lawyer, so don't think I won't drag you into court if I have to.

Sincerely,

Peter Johnson
Age: 17
GPA: 1.9
Squad leader of the marching band, The Fighting Shrimp
Class of 2008.
Witch Eyes:  Flux, Fall 2011

Offline joanjunkmail

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2007, 09:27:48 AM »
LMAO!
be nice to me or zombies will eat you in my novel
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Offline Patrick

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2007, 10:08:49 AM »
 :rolf:   I needed that, too.  Nothing like a good chuckle to start the day.

Offline justwrite

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2007, 11:10:06 AM »
Looooooove it! Karma for you!

Offline audal

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2007, 06:48:33 PM »
Yup, this is a karma-kollector for sure.  Nice work, Lege.
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Offline Legionsynch

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2007, 07:04:51 PM »
I caved to the pressure.  Glad you all liked it. :)
Witch Eyes:  Flux, Fall 2011

Offline barnicus

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2007, 08:49:50 PM »
I just found this site, and I am so busting a gut.

Offline MelanieLane

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2007, 09:34:51 PM »
 :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:
 :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:
 :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:
 :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:

Wow. So is the GPA on a scale to 4.0 or 5.0?
Got :draw:?

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Offline Chelc

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Re: The Bored Ultimatum
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2007, 09:44:53 PM »
GPA's go to 5.0??? oh, yeah in your school
well, isn't it typically 4.0? or is that just my school...
speaking of grades (grrr) I'm at an 88% in chemistry all the sudden (got a C on the last test  :'() so I'm going to try  to keep away from QT (sorta) for a few weeks until I can bring it back up to an A because I CANNOT JEOPARDIZE MY 4.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!