Author Topic: Dear Agent  (Read 4370 times)

Offline Patrick

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Dear Agent
« on: June 16, 2007, 07:23:30 PM »
Joan Agent
Joan's Literary Service
123 Main Street
New York, NY 00000

Dearest Joan:

I never wrote a book before, but now I did, and it is a very very good book.  I know it is very very good because my mother read it and she said it is a very very good book, and my mother never lies.

You really should publish this book, because it is going to be very very popular and make a lot of money.  It has a girl for a main character.  Her name is Joan, just like your name.  I thought you would like that and that is why you should publish this book.

Joan (the main character, not you) keeps having dreams that come true.  She also dreamed that this book will become a huge best seller (Ha Ha).  When she dreams about her own death, all kinds of mysterious and weird things happen.  She has a dog named Blew, and Blew gets lost.  Her mother thinks she is a very very smart girl.

This book is 300 pages long, 250 if I widen the margins and make the font smaller.  I don't have a title yet, my mother thinks I should call it the "Very Very Long Night."  But I think it should be called, "Blew's Christmas."  What do you think I should call it?

This book is so good that it will definitely be made into a movie.  Do you think I could direct the movie?  My mother said I would make a very very good director.

You will feel very very bad if you let someone else publish this book instead of you, it is going to make a lot of money.  There is an envelope inside this envelope with a stamp and so you can mail me back an acceptance letter.  Could you include a check in the envelope, too?  I could really use the money right now.  I have to bail my mother out of jail.  She has been a very very bad girl.

Sincerely,


Arthur Author

Captain Jack

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Re: Dear Agent
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2007, 09:15:00 PM »
I think this is a very very good letter. I think you should use this letter. I think you will definitely git published if you use this letter. If you don't use this letter, will you let me use this letter? My husband says I wrote a very very good book and he is in jail a lot too.

Cosmo

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Re: Dear Agent
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2007, 06:33:01 PM »
Dude, that's bad.  Is that a joke?  Has to be, right?

Hatchet

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Re: Dear Agent
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2007, 04:58:43 PM »
This is not funny.  Where did you get my query letter?   :wacky: