It really boils down to your characters and your style, doesn't it? If Eallen's got an adventurous MC and a frank style, it would make no sense for her sex scenes to be filled with billowing gossamer drapes in the windows and kittenlike mews of delight. If you've writing about a couple whose physical intimacy bores them to tears, you aren't going to provide pages and pages of their encounters (unless you hate them and your audience both). You'll just handle the pivotal ones.
I'll admit to wanting to hide under a paper bag when I wrote the one full sex scene in my story. It had to be there because it explored important aspects of both a relationship and the characters individually. I wanted it to convey trust, fear, desire, and pleasure. For my characters and my style, none of these things required explicit physical details. The scene feels graphic to me, but it isn't, at least not by modern standards.
I have much less difficulty writing these scenes now, as long as it's from a woman's POV. Unfortunately, the middle book of my trilogy has a male MC, and I feel less comfortable trying to speak for him.
