Before querying my novel...

[Tabris]

Dear Mr. Agent:

Before you can read my query, I must insist you sign a Nondisclosure Agreement stating that you will never mention to anyone either my title or the subject matter of my novel. Someone of my authorial standing can never be too careful, as you'll see once you also sign the NDA stating that you won't tell anyone else what I've written for six months after reading my query letter.

Please get the signed document back to me immediately so I can send you my query letter. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX

[Magic_Seeker]

 

Hmmm.    I suspect you're not going to get an agent with that letter.   

[giddy1]

HEHE,

Good luck with that one. 

I believe it might end in 

LOL

Giddy

[mrs_owens]

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting to us. While your proposal shows merit, I'm afraid it's not right for us. As I'm sure you know, this is a very subjective business, and no doubt another agent... Actually they'll probably give you the same answer. Best of luck in your writing career. Please enjoy this complimentary gift of dark sunglasses and a black hoodie.

Sincerely,
Captain Agent Man