Author Topic: Read my Trillion-dollar novel before I come out of the TV and kill you query  (Read 2613 times)

Offline crystaljewels

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Dear Wonderful, Great, Cool, Happening Agent
123456789 W. Boulevard
Rich City, USA 87654

Dear Ms. Mary Poppins,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Your eyes Twinkle
Like the morning due
I love you!

Just had to start off with a little "love" poem to get us started in the right direction, because once you read my query about a lonesome dove (doverellla) who just wants to be like the other doves, giving love-heh, that ryhmes, anyway....you'll fall in love, sob at her injustice in the world, adn want to tell the whole world about how misfits are just like everyone else. You see, this dove is really not from above, but below in a mysertious cave with a bunch of other misfits, who gain up on the princes and princesses of the world, who did them wrong. You have The Ugle Duckling, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and even Rudoloph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, who can really kick some can, if you know what I mean. You'll also see Freddy Kruger, Jason and that physco chick on the Exorcist. Man, the world is in for some cleansing, BIG TIME.

Ok, so now that they've forged an unbreakable bond and are ready to battle the popular characters--the ugle stepsisters, the queen, the witch, and of course all of the therapists who just wanted to "help", yeah, right. This is where it gets interesting, because they are now armed with M16's, bazookas, 180's, 220's 360's and 480s, and really pissed emotions. When these misfits go up top, anything can happen, and....well, I don't want to ruin the ending, so I have attached my 650,000 word meganovel for you to devour (hopefully by this weekend, because I have to know A.S.A.P., since I already have book marks and posters ready to go.)

I've never written anything in all my life, but I have a really awesome imagination, and plus, all of my fellow patients on the fourth floor of the mental hospital in Salem loves the book! One even said she would direct the film!

My phone number is 123-456-7890, and I will be waiting for your call, since I cancelled all my plans for the next week, and hope you call soon, because I just got off my medication and am going through withdrawls-- *starts impersonating The Dead Terorist--"I KILL YOU!"--*and knifing the stuffing out of her pillow, her head turning completely around*--and you don't want to see me get mad.  >:D
Thanks for listening. You now have 1 minute before this message self-destructs, and exactly 72 hours to respond, favorably, I might add, before your house is bombed and that of all your family members.

Have a great day!

Your physcotic client  :draw: :draw: :draw:

Samara (yeah, the same one on The Ring)

   
« Last Edit: November 19, 2007, 11:15:59 AM by crystaljewels »

Offline LeahClifford

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LOVE it  ;D  Especially the "Have a great day!"
A Touch Mortal
A Touch Morbid
A Touch Menacing
Vial Things
Something Grave (coming out 9/7/21!)