Author Topic: No Tears for Jack - A novel full of it  (Read 3298 times)

Offline Nostrabuttus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1505
  • Karma: 1450
    • Jack LaBloom Romance Writer or Maybe Not
No Tears for Jack - A novel full of it
« on: January 02, 2008, 07:47:03 PM »
Cheers and Tears and Literary Agency
Attn: Mrs. Sadeyes
28897 43th Street, Suite 678
New York, NY 10010

Attn: Mrs. Sadeyes:

I am seeking representation for NO TEARS FOR JACK, a novel about life, love, family, breakfast food, thunder storms, death, school buses, and deception.

After visiting a psychic palm reader, Jack Lamont, a thirty-six-year-old bachelor, decides to do something about his greatest regret, not settling down and having a family. Jack advertises on the Internet for what he describes as the perfect make-believe family for him: a single mom with two junior high school age children, one girl and one boy. The woman and children must agree to live with Jack until he dies, or for one year, whichever comes first. In exchange for letting Jack experience what it's like to be a family man, the single mom and her children, upon Jack's death, will get his house, a five bedroom cabin on twenty acres of land overlooking a beautiful lake. The kind of deal no good woman could pass up, according to Jack's most trusted friend, Mike the bartender.

Jack, a Channel News Five co-anchor for a small television station, is surprised at the number of women who respond to his ad, three according to Mike the bartender. After reviewing the photos and reading what each woman wrote, Jack, with considerable input from Mike the bartender, narrows his choice to a young hot-looking thirty-eight-year-old blond widow with a twelve year old son and a fourteen year old daughter. Jack sends Marlene air fare for her and her two children. Instead of arriving by plane, Marlene and her children arrive in an old mini-van a day early. Marlene, a natural brunette and looking about twenty pounds heavier than the blond woman in the photo, is not exactly what Jack expected. The photo she sent had been taken seven years earlier, a year before Marlene’s six-year-old twin girls with red curly hair were born, something else Marlene had failed to mention in her e-mail response. Jack, disappointed he has been deceived, demands an explanation. Marlene gives him one. Four years after her husband died, she got lonely, met a man, and it didn’t work out. The man didn’t want to be a father to his own two children, the twins, much less her other two children, the teenagers. The twins tug on Jack’s trousers and look up at him with their hazel eyes and big smiles. Jack looks down at them and makes eye contact. (A Kleenex moment) Jack, a man not previously known for sensitivity, decides to let them spend the night before sending them packing the following day.

One night turns into several as Marlene’s twins win over Jack’s heart, and her cooking wins over Jack's stomach. The more time Jack spends with Marlene and her children, the more he realizes how lucky he is to have them in his life. Jack is amazed at Marlene's skills as a mother, a care giver, and a philosopher. Jack begins to enjoy his role as a father figure and all of Marlene's children take a liking to him. Marlene is bought to tears one night when she overhears Jack talking to her teenage son, giving him the kind of advice only a father can give a son: Be careful around women. You might fall in love one of them. Especially, one like your mother.

Although Jack and Marlene’s relationship is supposed to remain platonic, Jack wonders why Mike wanted him to put that in the ad. (A Kleenex moment for Jack) Jack decides to make a decision when he realizes he has fallen in love with Marlene. One night, with her children gathered around her, Jack gets down on one knee and proposes marriage to Marlene. (Another Kleenex moment) All four children say yes; Marlene says no. A month later, Jack has trouble breathing. He tells Marlene and the children he doesn't have much time left. He tells them how much he loves them and begs Marlene to marry him before he dies. (A lot of Kleenex tissues, the rest in the box) When Jack wonders why Marlene and the children shed no tears for him, Marlene is forced to tell Jack the truth. A truth she believes will change Jack’s mind about how he feels about her and the children. Marlene is Mike-the-bartender’s sister. It is how she knew all the right answers to Jack’s questions. She had been barely making ends meet on a receptionist paycheck, when Mike called her and told her everything was going to work out for her and the kids. Mike told her they were going to have a real home, a place near him. Jack is stunned, but not as much as when Marlene tells him why he's having trouble breathing. Marlene, a trained RN (Receptionist/Note-taker) gives Jack her medical diagnosis. First, Jack should never have believed a palm reader can predict when he is going to die. Second, Marlene is certain Jack is just having an allergic reaction to the cat the twins brought home the previous day. (Another full box of tissues)

I am well qualified to write this novel. The mother of five children, the youngest, Jack Junior was born six months after Jack died. I was right about the cat, but unfortunately, I was wrong about the palm reader. It happened on our first family camping trip, approximately one year from the day Jack had been told he had only a year to live. I and the children survived the bear attack, but only because our beloved Jack gave his life fighting the grizzly bear to give me and the children time to get back to the car.

I am seeking your representation. The manuscript, No Tears for Jack, is complete at 65,000 words. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Marlene Lamont

P.S. You may need to have a fresh box of Kleenex on hand before reading the manuscript. I went through several writing it.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2009, 04:52:41 PM by Nostrabuttus »
Author of humorous short stories, mainstream suspense, mystery, and thriller novels.

https://jmdavisauthor.wordpress.com/
Twitter: @jmdavisauthor
http://jacklabloom.blogspot.com/

Offline Nostrabuttus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1505
  • Karma: 1450
    • Jack LaBloom Romance Writer or Maybe Not
Re: No Tears for Jack - The first in my series of tear jerk novels
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2008, 10:33:44 PM »
To my fans in NYC:

I killed the poor guy off.  :'( I hope you are satisfied now. I have made my final edit and the story either lives or dies as it stands. I am done with this one. I've got to get back to my real work before I starve.

Thanks guys for all of your support. I've got to go put another log on the fire. :wink:
Author of humorous short stories, mainstream suspense, mystery, and thriller novels.

https://jmdavisauthor.wordpress.com/
Twitter: @jmdavisauthor
http://jacklabloom.blogspot.com/

Offline Nostrabuttus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1505
  • Karma: 1450
    • Jack LaBloom Romance Writer or Maybe Not
Re: No Tears for Jack - The first in my series of tear jerk novels
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2008, 11:17:04 PM »
Are you telling me someone stole my idea about man-killing sea-lice?  >:( I can't believe Hollywood would rip me off like that.  :rant: Wait until they hear from my attorney, who is meaner than a chigger and a whole lot bigger.
Author of humorous short stories, mainstream suspense, mystery, and thriller novels.

https://jmdavisauthor.wordpress.com/
Twitter: @jmdavisauthor
http://jacklabloom.blogspot.com/