Author Topic: Dear Sirs and Madams:  (Read 2670 times)

Offline Alien

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 163
  • Karma: 66
  • A large "tale" is a happy ending.
Dear Sirs and Madams:
« on: January 10, 2008, 03:57:00 PM »
Enclosed please find my splendid first novel. My other first novel is still being written.

My brother’s wife (who belongs to a book club) says this is the best thing she’s ever finished reading.

It’s a fresh approach to a new category I call Hardcore Gothic Humor. Shelves of imitators will soon become common.

Heathcliffe Chumsly, our happy-go-lucky hero, is alone at the Cape in a house he’s rented for the summer. Sara Dipendous, a lovely Greek Goddess, is hired to clean Chumsly’s house but we know she’s destined for more.

It all spins wildly out of control when Sara, who can’t get home one night because the road washes out, tells Chumsly a joke to break their sweaty tension. Chumsly (who is from very old money) never heard such bawdy language (and Oh! What a body!!!). He is immediately called into taking the Hero’s Journey.

Lenny Bruce albums are ordered off E-bay. Chumsly and Sara practice routines while they watch pornography. Both are transformed by what they fondly call the “intercourse of course humor”.

This book is racy and provocative. My brother’s wife has been giving me the look (you know the one) ever since she read it. I found a way to package aphrodisiac on paper. And it is filled with cutting-edge humor (watch out for paper cuts!).

Please enjoy the read, you won’t be able to decide if you want to laugh or go home for a quickie. I designed it that way—it’s truly amazing.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2008, 04:34:05 PM by Alien »

Offline M.Hall

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 213
  • Karma: 60
  • ~Crooked, but parallel to the universe~
    • My Deviant art page
Re: Dear Sirs and Madams:
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2008, 11:05:07 AM »
 :rolf: :rof3:

Offline karaokecrush

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 801
  • Karma: 132
  • big kiss
Re: Dear Sirs and Madams:
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2008, 08:16:45 PM »
Rosehip mixed with skullcap is also an aphrodisiac that can be mixed into pulp while creating your paper for printing.  A convenient "lick here" logo could be done in ultraviolet ink and a blacklight can be packaged with the novel for a holiday bonus package!!!! Now that's an advertiser's wet dream!  Whoo hoo!  OH BABY, Mr. Crush would be so happy!  I'll gladly give the recipe (along with the kitty snack recipe!)   :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:
Larger than life and twice as freaky!