Author Topic: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE  (Read 5638 times)

Offline Nigel_Habberdash

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THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« on: August 19, 2010, 10:21:23 AM »
Dear Mr/Mrs. [insert book agent name]  <---- (Can you fill this part out for me?  I'm not sure if you are a dude or a broad and I'm not sure which agent from your agency will want to sign me first.)

I'm querying you because your agency has been responsible for some of my favorite romance novels that I've ever gotten at K-Mart.  It's really good stuff.  While my book is really not a romance I'm sure putting a book together is pretty much all the same process.

Have you ever wondered what happens when you flush the toilet?  You've been told that there are septic tanks, sewers, and facilities that take care of that kind of crap, but have you ever seen them?  Travel into a world of the unknown with John D. Sentari as he braves a baron wasteland in order to untangle a web of lies and deceit.

My Spaghetti-Western-Sci-fi-thirller, THE PORCELAIN RABBIT HOLE, is a fast paced 517,000 word novel that will have you sticking to the edge of your seat by your pants! 

My background is in alpaca ranching.  In my spare time I like to write, paint by number, and do heated yoga.  This is my first novel.


May Shiva smile upon you,


Nigel Habberdash



P.S  Can you let me know pretty quick?  I've got this query out to a lot of people.





Offline Tabris

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2010, 12:28:56 PM »
ROTFLOL!  My favorite part was the baron wasteland.  :clap: :clap:

Offline sadapplemonday

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2010, 09:58:36 AM »

My Spaghetti-Western-Sci-fi-thirller, THE PORCELAIN RABBIT HOLE, is a fast paced 517,000 word novel that will have you sticking to the edge of your seat by your pants! 


[/quote]

Clever

Offline windjammer

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2011, 09:35:23 PM »
Dear M. Shiva,

We will pass on this one. Not because we don't love K-Mart, who doesn't, but you spelled thriller wrong. Ours is a business that thrives on purrfection.

Best wishes for your continued success,
M. Agent, but a no from me means a no from my whole agency and don't try any funny business

Offline mickip

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2011, 04:23:35 AM »
Habberdash my only comment on your perfect query would be:


My Spaghetti-Western-Sci-fi-thirller, THE PORCELAIN RABBIT HOLE, is a fast paced 517,000 word novel that will have you sticking to the edge of your toilet seat as you do mention sewers etc.

You have a winner here, and good luck with it.  But suggest you do a spell check.

Offline greenland

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2011, 05:55:59 PM »
Perfect query! FLASHED AWAY already covered the topic of toilet pipes thriller but I'm sure you found an unusual twist to your story.

Offline Nigel_Habberdash

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2019, 08:12:23 PM »
Bump for nostalgia.

Offline Munley

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Re: THE PORCELAIN RABIT HOLE
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2019, 12:36:54 AM »
Dear Habberdash:

If you had done your pre-submission homework, you would have realized that -- not only has this sort of plot been written before -- but , as any fourth-grader could tell you, those mysterious tanks, sewers and facilities have been plumbed to death already by none other than the much more exciting Rodeo Rooter, who charges through them like a bucking bronco. He doesn't just vaguely "brave" some non-descript baron wasteland.

AND --- and, and, and --- the creator of that lively character is none other than my client, Hilo Silver. It was not too bright of you to leave filling in the agent's name to the agent, but it doesn't matter. Hilo Silver was signed by every single literary agent on Earth, because they all offered, and Mr. Silver didn't have the heart to turn any of them down. Obviously, your manuscript is doomed. Good luck with your next endeavor.

Sincerely,
[Fill in the blank]