Author Topic: Show vs. tell  (Read 23565 times)

Offline Abigail

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2008, 02:22:44 AM »
Butt two bee ore knot too bee, that is the question.
Literature is alive...don't strangle it with superfluous verbiage!

Lotheus

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2008, 02:30:16 AM »
Goosebumps razed her flesh as, fingers stiff and clumsy, she peeled sodden shirt and britches off.  Grabbing the afghan from the couch, she wrapped it tight around her.  Across the room, a cold hearth mocked her.

She disengaged her guns and prepared for a wristfight.

Offline KristenH

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2008, 08:28:50 AM »
Not bad. Abigail, lol! Thanks Senshi. You're all funny.

Offline EJRuek

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2008, 09:53:32 AM »
Goosebumps razed her flesh as, fingers stiff and clumsy, she peeled sodden shirt and britches off.  Grabbing the afghan from the couch, she wrapped it tight around her.  Across the room, a cold hearth mocked her.

She disengaged her guns and prepared for a wristfight.
:jump:  All right.  Can we watch?   :y:

Offline Emeraldsky

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2008, 10:14:55 AM »
I need to know- how does a wrist fight work?   :huh:  :rof2:

Offline Abigail

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #20 on: March 08, 2008, 10:35:16 PM »
I think it's a pirate thing Emsky...You know, Capt. Hook takes off his hook and fights with his wrist...
Literature is alive...don't strangle it with superfluous verbiage!

Offline Cole Gibsen

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #21 on: March 08, 2008, 10:50:09 PM »
I think it's a pirate thing Emsky...You know, Capt. Hook takes off his hook and fights with his wrist...

Windex please!
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may no spiders fall on your head.

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Offline Emeraldsky

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2008, 07:54:53 AM »
 
I think it's a pirate thing Emsky...You know, Capt. Hook takes off his hook and fights with his wrist...
:rof2: :rolf: :rof3:
Thanks Abi, I needed that.  ;D

Offline KristenH

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM »
LOL! :angel:

Offline Abigail

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2008, 07:20:39 PM »
Glad I could help...I hope you found windex in the supply closet Senshi...
Literature is alive...don't strangle it with superfluous verbiage!

Lotheus

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #25 on: March 12, 2008, 12:37:37 AM »
NO one has been in there lately.  Maybe we'll need to reorder...

Offline yoshi97

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #26 on: March 12, 2008, 05:12:49 PM »
Here's another great show vs. tell exercise dealing with descriptions:


Jack is at an old farm house in December. Jack's mother died last month and left it to him. His mother was heavily in debt before she died. She was never a very orderly person.

Given these facts, try to put them into a narrative that explains all of this while actively stimulating the mind. Look for ways to share the information without just coming out and saying out.


One hint: you could show the last two items by having a lot of unpaid bills sprawled out over the kitchen table.


Here's the way to get the maximum from this exercise ... All words over three letters in the example may not be reused. If you start from there, it will seem difficult at first, but you might be surprised where it leads you. :)
The first step to becoming a success is learning from your failures ... The second step is not repeating them.

Offline Cole Gibsen

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2008, 08:56:04 PM »
 :clap: Great exercise!
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may no spiders fall on your head.

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Offline JeanneT

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #28 on: April 01, 2008, 08:28:55 PM »
I don't do writing exercises very often, but they can help when you're having trouble writing anything. It's nice writing something you have nothing invested in so I'll give this a go. I'm not sure I can "stimulate the mind" with this but here goes. :)


The wind whistled and, although the furnace was working for the moment, Paul shivered. Deciding it was time for a break, he shoved the bill with its red past due stamp back into the envelope and thumped it down on the stack. He went to the battered refrigerator and pulled the door open to pick up a casserole. He poked at the petrified mass. He needed to dump the stuff out and figure out which of the women from a neighboring farm had left it for him after the funeral. They'd been kind when he'd returned for his mother's funeral, but they hadn't felt obliged to brave the icy weather to feed him after the first weeks.

He went to the cabinet and opened it to find a can of something to heat up for supper. Corned beef hash. Well, it would be kind of edible if he fried an egg to go on top. As he pulled the can out, two envelopes fell onto the counter. Paul sighed as he picked them up. An oil bill and a repair bill on the furnace. He tapped them against his palm. Were they already among the dozen on the table? He rubbed his forehead and decided he would think about it after he ate.

Where it lay on the counter, the flier from one of the nearby town's realtors caught his eye. Maybe it was time to give her a call. Selling the old place would solve a lot of these problem.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2008, 09:14:47 PM by JeanneT »
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Offline MarvaD

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Re: Show vs. tell
« Reply #29 on: April 01, 2008, 09:30:39 PM »
I don't do writing exercises very often, but they can help when you're having trouble writing anything. It's nice writing something you have nothing invested in so I'll give this a go. I'm not sure I can "stimulate the mind" with this but here goes. :)


The wind whistled and, although the furnace was working for the moment, Paul shivered. Deciding it was time for a break, he shoved the bill with its red past due stamp back into the envelope and thumped it down on the stack. He went to the battered refrigerator and pulled the door open to pick up a casserole. He poked at the petrified mass. He needed to dump the stuff out and figure out which of the women from a neighboring farm had left it for him after the funeral. They'd been kind when he'd returned for his mother's funeral, but they hadn't felt obliged to brave the icy weather to feed him after the first weeks.

He went to the cabinet and opened it to find a can of something to heat up for supper. Corned beef hash. Well, it would be kind of edible if he fried an egg to go on top. As he pulled the can out, two envelopes fell onto the counter. Paul sighed as he picked them up. An oil bill and a repair bill on the furnace. He tapped them against his palm. Were they already among the dozen on the table? He rubbed his forehead and decided he would think about it after he ate.

Where it lay on the counter, the flier from one of the nearby town's realtors caught his eye. Maybe it was time to give her a call. Selling the old place would solve a lot of these problem.

Excellent!  Kudos and all that  :clap: