What should I put into my R&R email?

[Alniah]

I am ready to send my revised MS to an R&R and I am not sure what is too much/too little info. Here is what I came up with:

Dear Wonderful Agent,

You will find attached the revised manuscript of my novel BORN TO DIE that you reviewed two months ago. Based on your comments, I increased the word count from 66,000 words to 85,000. I did not change much of the plot but added a lot more information and action into the Death Camps scenes as well as Axia's fight with her hybrid personality. I have not changed much of the first fifty pages but turned a lot of my previously passive scenes into active ones.

I hope you enjoy reading this version even more than the previous one.
Thank you very much for your time and patience.


Any thoughts?? Should I add more? Make it more suscint?

[Rain]

Looks good to me!  I've never written one of these though. 
Do you need to mention you haven't changed much of the first 50 pages?  Unless that's the part the agent really loved, it doesn't seem necessary to mention that.  Also, this phrase 

Death Camps scenes

sound awkward with "camps" in the plural form.  Maybe that was just a typo.  Congrats on finishing your rewriting!    

[Duff]

I also wondered what you title an email like this? I've never been in this position before and it seems important to properly title all agent emails to make sure they get read.

I like the detail--I might just add in, 'as we had discussed' or 'as you had mentioned in your suggested revisions' after the word count sentence.

Good luck!

[islechile]

I'd try to make sure your email coincides well with the agent's suggestions. So if the agent suggested that you not change the plot much because she liked it, then say the bit about how the plot hasn't changed much.  Otherwise, maybe it's best not to say that - you want to point out what has changed more than what hasn't, I would think. If she suggested changing pacing, then you could say in a sentence or so how you've done that.  And so on. 

Hope this helps.  Good luck on the revised sub!

[lovinlife83]

You may want to keep the first fifty page part, so when she gets reading and doesn't see much different she doesn't give up. Just my opinion though. Good luck! Can't wait to see what happens! 

[B]

With my R&R, I didn't title it something new - I responded in the same email thread from the previous requested material and responses.

The rest isn't advice, it's just my own experience.  I didn't go into that kind of detail in the email, but said how I'd made significant changes based on the agent's insightful notes and suggestions (and I only said "insightful" because they actually were!) and feedback from other agents. In my case, my revision of the first fifty pages was more significant that suggested because I really felt it would set the stage better so it was like reading a different book and I didn't want the agent to be taken aback and think I sent the wrong document. 

[Alniah]

Thank you for all the input. I am sending it tonight (or at least that's the plan unless I chicken out.) I feel like going over the MS another gazillion time just to make sure but I don't know what else to add.