Success Story Interview - Michael Mancilla

An Interview with Michael Mancilla (Mikemancilla on QT) upon receiving an offer of representation from agent Cole Lanahan of The Seymour Agency.

07/21/2026

QT: Can you tell us a little bit about the book for which you've found representation? What inspired you to write it?

Michael Mancilla:
THE PURPLE COUCH: LOVE, ANXIETY, AND WHO WE BECOME is a narrative nonfiction book drawn from my decades of work as a psychotherapist, clinical educator, and LGBTQ+ mental health advocate. It combines intimate therapeutic stories, cultural observation, and selected elements of memoir to explore how people live with anxiety, desire, grief, shame, identity, and change.

I wanted to write a book that opened the therapy-room door without reducing therapy to advice, diagnosis, or a collection of dramatic case studies. I was especially interested in the ways personal suffering intersects with family, culture, sexuality, politics, religion, and the body. The book was also inspired by my work with LGBTQ+ young people and adults across several decades of profound social change.

QT: Was there ever a time you felt like giving up, and what helped you to stay on course?

Michael Mancilla:
There were many. This book did not fit neatly into a single category. It was not quite memoir, conventional psychology, self-help, or social commentary, and I sometimes worried that its hybrid nature would make it difficult to place.

The querying process also required endurance. I received encouraging responses, requests, and thoughtful feedback, but those were mixed with plenty of silence and rejection. What kept me going was the conviction that the book was doing something distinctive, along with the response of early readers who understood what I was trying to create. I also kept revising. Rather than treating every rejection as proof that the book had failed, I tried to determine whether there was something useful to learn from it.

QT: How long have you been querying for this book? Other books?

Michael Mancilla:
I queried for approximately seven months and contacted about 170 agents. That number reflects both the difficulty of finding the right home for a hybrid nonfiction project and my determination to conduct a broad, serious search.

There were periods when I paused querying to revise the proposal, strengthen the sample material, or reconsider how I was positioning the book. By the end of the process, I had received interest from approximately eleven agents and ultimately accepted Cole Lanahan’s offer of representation.

QT: On what criteria did you select the agents you queried?

Michael Mancilla:
I looked for agents who represented narrative nonfiction, psychology, memoir, LGBTQ+ writing, social issues, or books that crossed conventional category lines. I also paid attention to the editors and publishers they had worked with, the way they described their tastes, and whether their lists suggested that they would understand both the literary and clinical dimensions of the project.

I tailored most queries, although the degree of personalization varied. When an agent had represented a particularly relevant book or had spoken specifically about seeking psychology, queer nonfiction, or narrative work by experts, I mentioned that connection. I tried to keep the personalization genuine rather than forcing a connection simply to demonstrate that I had researched the agent.

QT: What advice would you give other writers seeking agents?

Michael Mancilla:
Query widely, but thoughtfully. Do not assume that the most obvious agents for your subject will necessarily be the ones who respond most strongly. The right agent may recognize possibilities in the project that you have not yet fully articulated yourself.

I would also encourage writers to distinguish between revising out of fear and revising because something genuinely needs improvement. Listen carefully when several knowledgeable readers identify the same concern, but do not reshape the heart of the book every time one person does not connect with it.

Finally, use QueryTracker to approach querying as a process rather than as a daily referendum on your worth or talent. Keep accurate records, look for patterns, celebrate requests and other signs of progress, and continue working on the book while it is being considered.

Query Letter:

Dear [Agent Name],

I am seeking representation for The Purple Couch: Love, Anxiety, and Who We Become, a narrative nonfiction manuscript complete at 76,000 words. Blending clinical insight with cultural observation, the book explores how identity, intimacy, and belonging are shaped—and sometimes destabilized—in a rapidly changing world.

For over twenty-five years, I have worked as a psychotherapist and gender therapist with LGBTQ+ clients, including extensive work with transgender youth and their families. I previously served as Director of Mental Health and co-founder of the Youth Pride Clinic at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, DC. Now providing telehealth care from Mexico City to patients across the United States through Pride Therapy DC, I bring a cross-cultural lens to how culture, politics, and place shape our inner lives.

The Purple Couch invites readers into the therapy room not as observers of pathology, but as witnesses to real lives in motion. Each chapter follows individuals at moments of tension and possibility: learning to tolerate anxiety without outrunning it, disentangling intensity from intimacy, and navigating relationships that cannot keep pace with personal change. These stories examine how people revise the narratives that once defined them and risk new ones that allow them to live more fully.

The book weaves clinical vignettes with personal reflection and cultural analysis, including work with LGBTQ+ youth and families navigating identity in an increasingly complex and politicized landscape. Across these narratives, the focus remains on how we construct meaning, tolerate uncertainty, and choose connection over repetition.

In tone and accessibility, the book will appeal to readers of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and Mating in Captivity, with a distinctly queer and culturally expansive lens.

My first book, Love in the Time of HIV: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex, Dating, and Relationships (Guilford Press), was nominated for a Lambda Literary Award. My work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Slate, and CNN.

The manuscript is complete and available at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Warmly,
Michael Mancilla, LICSW